PARENTING TIPS

Let it go!

Upside Down

Last Saturday the girls and I went to a music festival; we listened to music, danced and had a generally great time. But we got home very late and the girls were tired, so after putting them to bed I decided to test something: the next day I was going to let it go! (Like in the freaking Disney song). I decided I was just going to let the girls chill out and allow them to dictate the rhythm of the day, and not take control! So I let them get up when they wanted, play as long as they wanted and move at their own pace throughout the day. And you know what? We had a fabulous day, but my gosh, it was hard!!!

Why? Because in my head I had activities planned: people to see, places to discover, things to do — things I personally thought are important and fun to do.  But obviously those decisions were taken without my daughters’ consent, and they weren’t a priority for them. We had planned to go to the swimming pool… and we got there 3 hours later than I had hoped because the Lego mini people were apparently having a music festival! I think part of the reason why it was so hard is because I project what I think is going to be fun on my kids, who, I sometimes forget, are now individuals with their own tastes and preferences.

But, I must say, we had a lovely day without any arguing or conflict.  The girls came to me when they were ready, they were happy to go out and ready to face the world, and for once I was not pleading and coercing everyone out of the door. Meanwhile, I tidied my desk and did things around the house that I usually don’t have the time to do. A win/win for everyone!

So I am going to make a conscious effort when I can (and when it is possible) to let go and let my little people be, even if we are not on holiday and even if I have in my mind projected many fun things that we could do.

Do you find it hard to let go and just let them be too?

– Emilie

P.S. Photo taking by the lovely Emily Ulmer a wee while ago.


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Comments (13)

Federica
July 24, 2015

Wow Emilie,
lovely post! I’ve never tried to let it go (my children are 4 and 2 years old) but I defenitely have to try!
Thank you very much for the advice!
Federica


Nina
July 24, 2015

I let it go all the time 🙂 my husband is the one who loves to have the whole day planned with activities, so I guess we are a good mix!


July 24, 2015

ha, that indeed is a good balance!


Lenka
July 24, 2015

We started to do this couple of weeks ago. Hard work at first but evrytime it ends up beeing one of the most relaxing day we have.


Carmen
July 24, 2015

Love this post! The older they get, the more I lhave learnt to let it go (within certain boundaries) because new plans come across each and every minute…


July 24, 2015

Thank you for sharing this with your community, I think if there is one thing us mumma’s can do that will make a big difference in the bonds, attachments and good ol’ mummy mindfullness is to stop being in control.

Whilst dedicating entire days is great, it could possibly become few and far between in the busyness of life. For me, I have found that allowing time and space to entire into daily interactions is a great practice. And the best time for me was school pick up, and preschool pick up before that. Instead of rushing into the school, to sign the children out and quickly bundle their things and child, in a flurry of activity before rushing out the gate to get to the next job on the list. I found that coming in and not bringing my ‘stuff’ with me was essential, remaining quiet (for once) and allowing time to seep in hold the moment so that I can connect with my kids in their environment, let them lead the way and show me what they got up to at school, allowing them time to say good by to their teachers and friends in their own time, allowing time for them to collect their belongings and when they are ready we leave … and pick up the pace required to do what’s next in the afternoon.

The after school pick up was the best time for me to ‘let go’ and in turn the flow on benefits come back ten fold.


SHOW ALL COMMENTS
July 24, 2015

ps: sorry for all the typos above


Rebecca
July 24, 2015

After a busy school week full of homework and football training I try to make every Sunday our let it go day. Even I enjoy the slow morning and sleep in! Also in the summer holidays when the days are long we put away our watches some days and try to live the day without worrying about the time. We just eat, sleep go places when we want to rather than sticking to a time schedule. These are some of my favourite days! They always seem so much calmer.


Emilie in Paris
July 25, 2015

I think you are right, they are so much calmer because everyone is pretty happy not doing much!


July 25, 2015

I am going to do this tomorrow, today was tennis lessons at 10am so while I didn’t need to nag as much as a weekday there was still an element of nagging to our morning. Tomorrow I am going to ‘let it go’!! Wish me luck, I’m an OCD control freak who hates not having routine or a plan, ha ha!!


Emilie in Paris
July 25, 2015

Good luck to ye, I totally understand where you are coming from! x


July 28, 2015

Thank you for this!


Maddie
August 14, 2015

I really like your posts Emilie, you have a lovely honest writing style, hopefully lots more in the future 🙂 Would love to hear more about you work/life balance x


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