Tila is deeply, strongly and firmly in the “WHY WHY WHYYYY and WHY?” stage. She just wants to know everything in great details. And recently she asked me two questions that made me clear my throat.
The first one was how did a baby get into my tummy and the second one was where exactly does it come out.
On the first one I simply answered that mommy and daddy love each other so much and wished for another baby so he decided to finally come. She raised her eyebrows and asked again (by touching and pushing against my tummy – demonstrating) – “but how did he get in?!” Then I just said I’m sorry sweetie but I’ll have to answer that when you get a little bigger it’s not the right time since this is a topic for older kids. She was ok with that.
I really try to always give her honest answers – her age appropriate of course. I still have trust issues with my mum because she didn’t do that while I was younger and I don’t want that to happen with us two.
Then when she asked where will the baby make its exit I took a moment and decided to tell her the real, bare and unembellished truth – from the vagina (well, we have a cuter name for it in Slovenian that all the kids use but it’s the same thing) and after I did it I was kind of confused for a while and wasn’t sure I did the right thing but after I saw she was satisfied with the truth, kind of proud to know it I was confident I did. I just hope it doesn’t bite me in my be-hind when she starts a conversation about it at the checkout line in the store.
What are your thoughts on this? How do you answer these kinds of questions? Are you straight forward and honest? Or do you change the topic and hope they don’t notice?
By the way – don’t you love the pregnant mommy doll on the photo? I’ve been meaning to get one for Tila for a while now and I think it’s the perfect time now. They are from Frida Tierchen and come with a baby that is united with an umbilical chord (a cotton string), and there are magnets in both of them that allow the representation of breast-feeding! Every doll also has a carrier to carry the baby in after the birth. And if that’s not cool enough the materials used are wool, cotton and polyester filling from recycled plastic bottles. Perfect or what?
To read more from Polona, go to her cute blog Baby Jungle!
I try to be honest and explain according to their age.
I want that they know the truth from me, better that have their heads mix up by others.
When I was pregnant of my younger son, my daughter was five at the time. One day she arrived home in panic because a school friend (same age as her) had told her that the doctors would do a hole in my tommy to bring the baby out! My daughter was so releived when I tell her exactly how a baby is born.
I don’t think that she’ll be that releived if I ‘invented’ something in the occasion. Truth is always better. Nature is nature, it won’t change, we all her children and she is a very wise mother.
What nice comment Papgena, love your explanation! You are soo right!
Oh, I know how these questions can make you cringe! I remember we were driving in our car when I was heavily pregnant with Casper and Pim asked us the very same question — how did the baby get in there? I explained a very basic scenario of ‘the act’, and he was totally ok with that. He just asked when it was that daddy and mummy did that? So Tamar said, well, 9 months ago! And Sara thought for a bit and said — nooooooo! I’m already nearly 8! (She thought that by one deed, we had planted all the seeds for all of our kids!!!).
Anyway — I think you can answer directly to a question, with the simple truth — that is ok. They usually don’t ask much further, so you probably don’t have to go in total detail. And I’m pretty sure you’ll get some hilarious questions or comments. ;). xxx
Haha you made me pee almost with Sara’s answer! Smart girl! Gotta love kids!!!
One day I was explaining how the car-seat was “installed” in the car. My daughter made a leap in her mind and said, “so, my Dad’s seed was installed in you”?
Children are way smarter than we give them credit for!
I have learned it is important to teach kids the real words for anatomy. Vagina, breasts, penis, all of that. They need to be able to name their body parts. Not sure if you have problems with sex offenders where you live as we do in the US, but pedophiles are like any predator in nature: they prey on the sick & weak. A child who doesn’t know his/her body or can’t say what is happening to him/her in an abuse situation is a prime target. A child who says “No! Don’t touch my breasts!” Or something like that will deter an offender from pursuing him/her. I’m sorry to post a serious and scary answer on your sweet post about pregnancy, but when I learned this is made so much sense to me that I try to share this wisdom with other parents. The more sexual abuse is discussed and we take steps to keep it fro happening, the more protected children will be.
My explanation to my daughter was similar. I told her that mommy and daddy love each other so much that daddy put a baby in my tummy (though I didn’t tell her how!). I then casually mentioned that once the baby grows big enough it will come out of my vagina and will play with her. She didn’t bat an eye!
And I am also behind using real words for anatomy. I feel that calling our private parts by names other than what they are suggests that there is something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by.
[…] recomendaba una entrada de Babyccinokids, donde me quedé enamorada de sus muñecos, y ahora que empiezo las clases de costura, ya iba […]