Sleeping with your baby

This is a post I have been thinking about in my head for months now! It’s a post I have wanted to write, then changed my mind and thought I shouldn’t write, and then have come back to it again. I want to talk about sleeping with your baby. Not because it’s what I think you should do… but because it’s what works for us.

I have always slept with my babies, usually from birth until around 10 or 12 months when they start to sleep through the night. It’s not that I feel strongly one way or the other about co-sleeping, it’s just what has always felt more natural, and frankly more easy, to me. In fact, with every pregnancy I would set up the moses basket before the birth thinking that’s where the baby would sleep… but once the baby was born, I just never felt comfortable putting them into their own bed. My husband and I both felt more at ease having the baby in our bed, close to us, to be in tune with their little bodies and sleeping rhythm. (I’m a very light sleeper and wake at the teensiest sound or smell or touch.) Also, I just find it easier to nurse my baby in bed, often in a hazy half sleep/half awake state — I find it less disruptive to my sleep than getting up out of bed to feed and put the baby back into her own bed. Perhaps sleeping with my babies has come out of pure laziness!?!

The funny thing is, that while it feels completely normal and natural to me, it doesn’t seem to be common practice, at least not amongst my friends or the other mums at my children’s school. I remember when Marlow was a baby, even just a few weeks old, I was constantly asked ‘how is she sleeping?’ or ‘is she waking in the night?’ or even ‘does she sleep through?’. (It must be one of the most common questions a new mother is asked!) When I told people that she sleeps with me and that I feed on demand sometimes up to four times a night, I would get such shocked replies.  For a while I even started to doubt our co-sleeping ways! But then I read this post about co-sleeping on A Cup Of Jo, and I also read this guest post on The Littlest blog by James from Bleubird where she shares how she sleeps with her baby. It made me feel comforted to know that other mothers do the same… and it made me wonder if perhaps it’s not really so rare?

Marlow is 7 months old (today!) and she’s still sleeping in bed with us. I usually put her to bed in her own bed around 7pm and she goes to bed willingly. Around midnight (sometimes even 1 or 2!) she will wake and I will bring her into our bed. She usually feeds a couple times through the rest of the night and then we usually wake up together around 7am. Of course I would love to have a full night of uninterrupted sleep, and some days I really do feel so tired… but I love waking up with Marlow in my arms, and I love nursing her in bed, and the way our bodies fit perfectly together like a puzzle piece. Some day… we won’t fit together as easily, and when that day comes, I will miss these wonderful sleep-deprived nights.

So anyway… I would love to hear from all of you. How goes it in your family? Do (did) you sleep with your baby? Or does your baby sleep in his own bed (or even bedroom)? What works for you? Please do share!

xx Courtney


Comments (90)

June 12, 2013

This sounds so much like us. I didn’t have strong opinions on the subject, but when our little boy arrived (six weeks early), it was just the most natural thing in the world that he should sleep next to me.
We had his cot right next to our bed, and gradually transitioned him into it over the next months. He moved into his own room around his first birthday.
I’m Norwegian and my husband is English, and the reactions from friends and family on either side were quite different. I guess because breast feeding and having babies sleep in the parents’ bedroom the first year is the norm in Norway, and less common (but growing) in England. Only our English friends were focused on sleeping through the night in the first months.
It is one of those things that each mother (family) has to decide for themselves. As long as it’s done safely, it can really make those first weeks of frequent feeding so much easier, though!
Happy 7 month birthday to beautiful Marlow!

June 12, 2013

We followed a very similar pattern with both our 2 boys, although their transition into their own beds came somewhat later. It just felt right to have them next to me, especially when they were tiny. Breastfeeding was so much easier when it wasn’t a matter of getting out of bed for each feed. I agree that is a very personal decision though and not something everyone wants to do. It is heartening to hear that other people sleep with their babies too, as sometimes it feels that some people disapprove of the practice.

June 12, 2013

We have a family bed… no explanations needed my kids all sleep in my bed as long as they want too. I could never have had all our kids and gotten any sleep if they hadn’t!!! It works for us and most of the world in fact. I find it strange that folk are so anti-something and spend so much energy debating something that most of the world isn’t giving half a thought too!!! I do have a friend who is really adamant that her kids sleep in their own beds – She had to get them all 3/4 beds because the first two hours she sleeps with the toddler, then she helps her pre-schooler with nightmares and then sleeps on the couch with the babe until dawn … she was right – no-one sleeps in her bed not even herself!!! I am all for whatever gives everyone the most sleep… it doesn’t really matter if that is with your baby or not… sleep is just too essential for the whole family to agonize about it…

June 12, 2013

We still co-sleep with our son who is 20 months. We have a giant bed and his cot is next to our bed, raised to the same height, with the side down. He still wakes during the night and we too find it easier not to have to go to another room. It is also AMAZING to see that little face sleeping next to you, to feel his little arm reaching out in the night. We have just moved house and have much more space here. He has ‘his’ room, but it’s not set up yet. It will be though and I guess if he doesn’t decide that his own, new, bed looks like fun on his own, then we’ll start a game where he begins there and then joins us later in the night. We’re in no rush yet and in the next two months will be having another baby. Plenty of room for a second cot on the other side of the bed. I can’t wait for us all to be together – although, obviously, if new baby is a big night time crier, that might alter how we do things. I see this time as so special and when you can’t be with them all day – for whatever reason – co sleeping is a wonderful way to have some special moments.
I should perhaps add that our new home allows us to have an “adults only” sitting room and there are also other rooms in the house that allow us some intimacy. The bedroom set up is a sleeping set up, the adult stuff happens elsewhere – and we are extremely lucky to have that option. In our last home, we continued co-sleeping in part because we couldn’t change the office space into the second bedroom and I’m really glad that we continued. I am under no illusion that at some point he’ll want to sleep somewhere else, or that we might decide we want to be more ‘traditional’, but in the mean time, I’m enjoying all the midnight cheek stroking and little-hand neck hugging I get!

June 12, 2013

I’m so glad you decided to write this post in the end. And what a sweet, beautiful image of you and Marlow.
I did a little bit of both, with both my babies. They both stayed in our room, in their cot, till they were one (actually Sienna’s still there at 15 months), but would often end up in our bed at some point during the night. I fed Sienna through the night, as and when she wanted to, laying down in bed with her, till she was almost a year. It seemed, and still does, the most natural, and easier option to do. She grew out of it when she was ready.
It upsets me a little when new mums (or even with their second, third or more baby) get asked whether their tiny little baby sleeps through. They’re all different, and each parent should do what works for them, for as long as they want, without worrying about what others might think. Most of my friends moved their baby out into their own room before 3 months. I thought this was crazy “How will they hear them!”, and I’m sure they thought i was equally odd doing it the way I did.. 😉
Thanks, Courtney x

June 12, 2013

Hi Courtney,
Felt compelled to react as I’ve experienced the same thing, and as I would also like to take the existing ‘taboo’ about this away! I also had some semi-shocked reactions to the co-sleeping, which felt so normal (and, more important: cozy). Our 2 kids weren’t into sleeping by themselves at all, so we thought: why not take them into our bed?
By about 6 months they were fine with sleeping alone. One of the friends who discouraged me from doing so, later admitted that she felt she should have done the same thing when her kids were babies… Because it’s true what you write: these are the times when you can enjoy this; later on, sleeping in the same bed with a toddler or child can become a lot more of a hassle – and cramped! So I enjoyed it while it lasted. (And, important to add too, I was and am also an extremely light sleeper, which helps.)
Best, enjoy your little and big ones,
Aaf (a friend of Esther’s)

June 12, 2013

I don’t have any strong feelings either way i must admit, but do believe that every family has to do what works for them. We only had our little boy in our bed for the first 4/5 weeks and then in our room until 6 months, but I brought him into bed with us last weekend when we were staying at our friends and I remembered how nice it could be. He’s 9 and a half months now and much more cuddly. I wouldn’t want him in with us permanently as I’d be worried he wouldn’t want to go to his own bed, but it’s a nice treat now and again!

Esther in Amsterdam
June 12, 2013

I have always slept with my babies too. It made things so much easier! And it truly is such a sweet thing, those little bodies curled up against yours… I don’t think co-sleeping is at all common in the Netherlands, like Aaf already pointed out in her comment above. xxx

Esther in Amsterdam
June 12, 2013

PS I do always let my babies fall asleep in their own bed like you do — I feel like this at least you have the evening to yourself. (Although I do think that Casper would prefer me to come to bed with him every night! Ha!)

Rebecca McLerie
June 12, 2013

My son is 4 and we slept together until very recently either in my bed or his. From birth he would fall asleep in his basinette, cot and now bed, then come into my bed in the night to feed and cuddle. In the last few months he has been sleeping through and I don’t jump into his bed for a cuddle much as I used to, which makes me a little sad! I also had mixed reactions to this , from others, other people seemed very concerned that he still woke in the night. I however didn’t care and loved my night time cuddles especially in the winter. I still cuddle with him until he falls asleep which is my favourite part of the day.

June 12, 2013

We did the same thing with our two children; 4 and 7 years now. Not because we have strong opinions about co-sleeping, but because we just liked it. We tended to put the baby to sleep in the evening, then the last feed before I went to bed I’d do in our bed and doze while nursing. Why get up when there is that lovely baby smell and there little warm body next to you?

I don’t sleep heavily and I can hear my children if they wake up in the night even now that they are a floor above me. It is surely a matter of personal choice and for me it just felt natural.

But I have to admit I didn’t tell my health visitor, and tended not to mention to other mums. Which I think was silly of me really but…

Ours still get up and come get into our bed most mornings (early, too early!) and tho my husband and I do moan sometimes, “Why do our children have to be such morning people?” I love it and he does too. I was kissed awake this morning by my little boy, it was 6.15am, I would have preferred 7.15 but… it’s still worth the cuddle.

June 12, 2013

Specially if you are nursing it seems to make a lot of sense to co-sleeping. Yes, it’s true, half of the world is doing it (which never meant the best concerning a lot of other subjects…). But perhaps because my bed is not very big, I would always worry with the possibility of suffocating by chance or harm my baby. You know how I did when he was just weeks old? I put my baby in his moses basket and then put the basket in between my husband and I, in our bed. It worked for a few months, I think until my son was ready for the larger crib, but it was not very comfortable for the two adults. We do cuddled a lot everywhere! I think it’s import to underline that. Sleeping time is sacred for everybody here, I simply couldn’t spend my nights worried if my leg or arm could hurt the baby. That’s our own, myself and my husband, experience.
Lovely picture of mama and baby.

June 12, 2013

Not too common here in Australia, but did co-sleep with my eldest for about 3 or 4 months till he slept through the night. I did it not for any philosophical reason, but because I was lazy & he was born in winter so it suited me (does that make me a “bad” mother lol!!!). With our second child we couldn’t do it as he had seizures as a baby & would stop breathing (outgrown now thank god) & so he need to sleep in a moses basket on top of a “breathing pad” – if he stopped breathing an alarm would go off to let us know. He did though sleep by my bed, so it was kind of co-cleeping. Interestingly, the youngest always comes into our bed every morning (very, very early) and sleeps with us while the oldest doesn’t. Not sure if that really means anything, just a little anecdote.

June 12, 2013

With my son it was similar to what you are doing with your daughter. He started the night in h When he was three years old he slept through the night and only came into our bed from 6am onwards.
Our daughter is now two years old and has never slept anywhere else but in our bed. When she was an infant she needed constant body contact so she even slept on my chest at night while I tried to get a little sleep. I am asking myself now when the right time is to transition her into her own bed?! Any advice on that? And how?

June 12, 2013

I have been following your blog for a while now and our babies are the same age – Dylan is 8 months. I do the exact same thing as you, even putting Dylan in his cot at 7 and bringing him to bed with me when he wakes for a feed. I have faced shocked reactions to my decision to sleep/nurse this way (by family members) and have promptly been told that I am doing the wrong thing and given instructions on what I ‘should’ be doing, to the point that I now don’t answer questions about our sleeping arrangements. With my first baby I still fed on demand but would go to her room and put her back in her cot afterwards – i spent the first year of her life tired and frustrated and all because I didn’t listen to my own instinct over the advice of others. I was so happy to see your post today and to hear from another mother who feels the same way. I can also understand your apprehension to post this, I myself don’t feel necessarily strongly about co-sleeping it just feels like the right for me – like with so many aspects of parenting I believe its important that your decisions work for you as a family. So thank you!

June 12, 2013

I slept with both of ours now 4 and 6. The moses basket was at the side of the bed and both went off to sleep in it without a bother and then when there was a middle of the night feed, I’d pick them up still half-sleep, stick ’em on the boob and we were both out like a light again. Both started sleeping through from about 3-4 months but would come into our bed around 6. I finished breastfeeding at 8 and 10 months respectively and I missed those snuggly times although they both sleep in with us after bad dreams or on lazy weekend mornings. My husband works in Amsterdam 4 days a week at the moment so we have sleepovers and even though it’s like sleeping with donkey’s at times, I treasure these moments and sometimes miss those early months when they were tiny and snuggled into me. To be honest, if we hadn’t co-slept second time round, I would probably have lost my marbles!

June 12, 2013

Very interested to read this post. I think it’s much more common in the US to co-sleep and slightly frowned upon in the UK. I didn’t co-sleep with my daughter and she was in a Moses basket in our room till she got too big for it and then went into her own room. As a result she did sleep through from 17 weeks and I think that’s partly because she had a more comfortable sleep than in the basket but I often pined for co-sleeping but felt it was something I wanted to do for me rather than for her and this made me feel guilty. My daughter is 3and a half now and can’t ever sleep in our bed – I try to do it when she is poorly and she always asks after half an hour if she can go back to her room so I am pleased on the one hand that we always get a good nights sleep but I wish she would come in just once for me:).
Have never judged anyone else for doing it though – each to their own and whatever gets you through the night.

Courtney in London
June 13, 2013

I think that’s such an interesting observation about the US versus the UK, and I think you’re right. Maybe that explains why I have been so surprised by the response I get when I tell people that my baby sleeps with me.
Also, how funny that you can’t keep your daughter in your bed even if you wanted to! : ) xx C

June 12, 2013

We’ve also coslept with our kiddos. They all moved to their own beds between 18 mos and 3 years. I never intended to cosleep, but it was just easier for nursing. I think more people do it than let on. They don’t want to be viewed as spoiling baby, so they keep it a secret.

Courtney in London
June 13, 2013

I agree – even just from reading the comments on this post, it seems that way more people than I thought are co-sleeping with their babies. Perhaps it’s one of those things people just don’t volunteer unless you also ‘admit’ you do it. x

June 12, 2013

[…] Sleeping with your baby ( […]

June 12, 2013

You seem to have struck a chord!
My baby (7 months) still sleeps with us, partly because I nurse her at night and find it most confortable, partly because it is so cosy to have her there. I did the same with my other 2 kids (5&3).
One question though: do your babies sleep in the middle between your husband and you?
My husband feels it is too dangerous, as his sleep is very tight, as opposed to my light sleep, and he would not feel if he accidentaly lay on the baby. Also she might get “lost” under the big duvet… So we use the “Babybay”, attached to our bed. This way our baby can sleep on the side of the bed without the chance of falling out of it.
Co-Sleeping is cosy and safe this way (the main argument here in Germany against it…).
and in the mornings, when the other 2 wake up, all 5 of us fit into our bed … I love these mornings!

June 12, 2013

I love this post Courtney! I never could but admired people who did. I always was lying awake in bed while baby was in bed with me so I ended up having them in their bed from the start.. I love the snuggles I got though, in the mornings, the last early morning feed, and then falling back asleep, .. Loved it..

June 12, 2013

Well done Courtney for writing the post – I think I know how you might have felt taking that decision. As you know … I have slept (and still do) with all my children. It felt right for us and just like you probably started as a result of laziness on my part but now feels just the right thing to do – and like you say it won’t be like that forever and we will certainly miss this times when they are gone. Otto is now 16 months and still in bed with us – he still wakes sometimes and I’m glad I’m right next to him to soothe him. I think he only cried twice in the night before he was 1 (he sometimes cries now when teething) – he would wake and start to grumble and I would be there to feed him or to pat him or to say something to him before he hard the chance to start crying – I think we all got better sleep as a result.
The other two always come to us at some point in the night – it can get a bit uncomfortable but we have a mattress on the floor for any ‘over-spill’.
I remember when pregnant with Lioba (and Elias was about 18 months old) so many people at my work telling me i HAD to get him out of my bed and really scoffing at me, quizzing me on how I would manage with a new baby and a toddler in my bed. I got really worried about it and felt incredibly pressured to change our habits and routines before the baby came but it just went against everything I felt inside me. Luckily Tobi feels the same and we decided to follow our own route and it was wonderful – it somehow also helped Elias to bond with Lioba that we would all wake as a family together. I really love co-sleeping but I do totally understand those who don’t want to or who can’t do it – it has to be something both parents are comfortable and happy with. I really do find that every family and situation is different and what works for one might not for another that’s why it does greatly annoy me when Mums (and I hate to say it but it is usually Mums) think their way is the only way and take to preaching and judging other’s choices …… uh oh … rant, rant, rant …..

June 12, 2013

What a wonderful article! I have two daughters Camille (35 mths) and Clementine (11mths), and I have tried both ends of the spectrum. Being British and living in Switzerland (here they proactively push it) I was initially shocked when they suggested co-sleeping with my new born daughter on her very first night. You see, I had read all the books and the SIDS markers were foremost in my mind. However having had an emergency ceasarean and a baby who was nipple obsessed I was left with no other option. On coming home from hospital (after 5 days here) Camille was so used to sleeping with me she refused to sleep in her Mini Stokke. At 5 months I managed to get her to sleep in her cot in our room for some of the night. This was prompted after a visit to the pediatrician, who told me it was fine to co-sleep but if I wanted to stay on that route that I’d have to let her sleep with us until she was 12 or 13 years old! Apparently this is because the shock of moving to their own bed is mentally disturbing for some children after the first 12 months. I really didn’t want my beautiful milky breath snuggle buddy still in bed with me at 13. I still fed her through the night on demand until 15 months and ended up every night with her in the guest bedroom. Whilst I loved cuddling my baby and hearing her breathing next to me, I resented the lack of sleep and therefore I was determined to try the other way when Clementine arrived.

For the first few nights in hospital I co-slept with Clementine, but then when we came home I used the smaller rocking crib in our room and she was happy. I still fed on demand at night but got up with her and soon found that she woke less as she was getting a proper feed rather than just a suckle. At 5 months she didn’t wake anymore so we moved her to her bedroom. I was anxious for weeks and would wake in the night and just go and sit in her room to hear her breathing and smell her etc. However she is a remarkably content little girl and I find myself needing more contact with her than she needs from me, which is definately the reverse with Camille.

So whilst my body thanked me for not co-sleeping the second time round, my mind still longs for those precious snuggly moments cocooned together and that sweet milky breath.

June 12, 2013

Such an interesting post and Courtney, what a beautiful picture of you both, reminds me of special breastfeeding moments with my little ones. I think the important thing as mothers is not to judge others, we’re all doing what we feel is best for our families, there are no right and wrong ways. My mum has always said “you do what you have to do to get you through the night”. I also read the same (brilliant) blogs and wonder if co-sleeping is more of an American than European practice within our cultures? I’m English but live and had my 3 children in France, where co-sleeping is very uncommon and even breastfeeding after 3-4 months is generally viewed with raised eyebrows. Here in France, a couple doesn’t share their marital bed (!) with the children (tut, tut). Despite this being strict and old-fashioned, it’s nice that the children and adults respectively still have their places without the children running circles around their parents and depriving them of sleep. On the other hand, I personally think co-sleeping during the initial months is a natural and beautiful thing. I always breast-fed in my bed and fell asleep with my babies (much to my French mother-in-law’s disgust). However I did transfer them to their cots next to me at some point during the night so I could get some minimum quality sleep. I followed the Contented Baby method (another controversial topic) and my 3 children have always been brilliant sleepers.

June 12, 2013

My babies are now 11 & 9 – they’ve slept with us since birth – (except if husband had been out drinking with clients ) I fed them on demand for many years and I was considered a bit ‘alternative’ for my community of parents. I didn’t care as I knew what was best for our family. They are still sleeping with us! You have no idea how many people are appalled at ths!! I am saddened to read this post – but so glad you have written it – as obviously things haven’t changed in 10 years., women are still being judged by women. How do we change this?

June 12, 2013

What a brilliant post!! Please follow up with how you transition your kids out of your bed too!

I definitely think its a cultural thing! My Spanish mum could not believe at Christmas that my English relatives (Gina Ford followers) took their toddlers to the top of the house for their two hour nap at lunch. ‘Where are they leaving the babies?’ She asked me; “What are they doing!!” For her it was totally bizarre the kids weren’t eating with us or near us. She even went and checked on them and came back triumphant; “One of them is awake!!! She’s just not crying!!” Not to get into a Gina Ford debate (I don’t have strong feelings – works for some mums, some good advice), I do find it true that in England mums seem pretty focused on kids sleeping on their own in own room and pretty focused on no kids awake after 7pm which is very different to Spain. I’d love to know if Gina has been published in Spain but with a different schedule!!

I’m certainly one of the only mums I know in London who co-sleeps with her baby. There are lots of pros for us! For me it felt very natural and was one of the only ways to bond with my baby girl as I had awful breastfeeding experiences to start – v painful – so lying next to her sleeping peacefully helped us bond and helped me carry on breastfeeding. I loved cuddling her, it helped with night feeds, it helped me sleep and I truly believe it helped her development, walking by 11 months, very good speech development – seems very common that co-slept babies develop faster – I’m not a super mum!! I also worry far more when she’s sleeping on her own that she’ll get stuck or smothered (she too starts the night in her own bed)!

The cons for us have been judgement from my boyfriends family, at times feeling cramped so boyfriend sleeps next door – this has got worse as she’s got bigger and wrigglier, night feeds out of habit – she started waking more often to feed (from 3 times up to 7 times a night which was killing me!) so when I stopped night feeds (while still co-sleeping) she slept better and longer. It actually wasn’t hard to stop but it was hard the month before, I worried she needed the milk as she’s dairy intolerent and even now, 19 months, won’t drink cows milk. But the major major con is I’ve been ready for a while for her to sleep on her own, she wriggles loads and is totally reliant on me for sleep, she can’t self settle at all and I’m pretty drained! I’m not sleeping very well and it also makes nights away, even baby sitting difficult as she gets hysterical if she wakes and I’m not there! So I do think there is something to be said for teaching your kids to sleep happily on their own, and self settle when they wake up. But I have NO idea how to do this hence the original question – please do a follow up post on how you transition the kiddies into their own beds!!!
Sorry for all the detail but just so nice to be able to share as I don’t know anyone who has co-slept and don’t know who to talk to about this stuff!! PS love the blog!

June 12, 2013

Oh I forgot to add that sometimes I do think if she slept away from me I’d be more cuddly during the day! I do love cuddling her whenever but its true that some mornings I just want to be on my own and not touch anyone!!

June 12, 2013

I could have written this it’s so similar. I always felt safer with both of my girls with me. I had a near freak out when I tried to not co sleep with my oldest because I felt asleep so hard with her in her crib I couldn’t ear her cry for me. Never again. I sleep lighter when they are with me and my body is aware and I get better sleep. and I must be lazy too because feeding on demand and co sleeping is heaven.

June 12, 2013

My baby Phoenix is 7 months old and he’s been sleeping in his crib from 7pm to 6am for two months now…and it’s blissful. It just got to a point where I was overly exhausted and couldn’t sacrifice my own sleep anymore. And I was ready for my husband and I to have “our time” back. But he’s my third son so I knew how awesome and possible it was to teach him how to fall asleep on his own, and how good it was for my otter two sons. Teaching them that skill early resulted in them being amazing sleepers (they’re 9 and 7 now). So that’s what works best for me and my sanity:)

June 12, 2013

Beautiful photo, Courtney.

All three of my boys have coslept in a similar pattern as you mentioned with going to bed at 8pm, and waking around 1-2am for a nursing and staying in bed with us.

With my first 10yrs ago, I felt pressured to get him to sleep on his own, on a schedule and in a separate room in his bed. I guess you could say it was the beginning of the sleep training book era here. (US) However, I failed miserably at it all and instead he slept with us and I nursed throughout the night. I was comforted in that my own mom said we all coslept with her and my father through the first year while nursing. With my 2nd and 3rd boys, I just kept them close in bed with my husband and I for about the first year-two years. Yes, I was tired many days but somehow my body got used to that and I ended up enjoying having them close. I agree that it was so much easier for night nursing!

Thank you for writing and sharing your experience. It’s great to know other moms who share similar thoughts on cosleeping. Honestly, none of my local friends or sisters co-slept with their babies. Everyone around here is into bragging about sleep training hours. xo

June 12, 2013

Love this post Courtney. It really needs to be acknowledged more often that this just works for some people.
As someone who works for a major baby brand company I am expected to really discourage co-sleeping and to inform customers of the issues it can cause, even sometimes scaring them with FSIDs facts to make sure they know how ‘dangerous’ it is. I’ve always found myself to be uncomfortable with that, at the end of the day the most important thing is a happy, healthy baby AND mum, and neither will be happy or healthy if Mum is sleep deprived and stressed because her baby won’t sleep without her. I have to be honest and say its not something that I did for a long period of time but my second son would only sleep lying in our bed, almost across my chest with me propped up for the first 10 days. After that it was Moses basket and eventually cotbed. He is 4 days old than Marlow and now sleeps through. This being said I have always brought both my children (7months & 2years) into bed when they wake up early for ‘snooze-cuddles’. Now my 2 year old doesn’t want that so much I really miss the closeness!
I admire your honesty and think it really shouldn’t be such a taboo in this country. And a beautiful shot of you both x

June 12, 2013

Hi Courtney,I love your post.I am a spanish mom 3 children and I slept with them for 6-9 months.I love it but my family and friend dont understand me.I think that all animals sleep with their babies and is the most natural thing…why dont we do the same?

Courtney in London
June 13, 2013

That’s sort of how I feel — every animal sleeps with their babies, most with their breasts out ready for their baby to feed when they would like. I sometimes feel like a mama with her little puppy dog – but it feels so natural and wonderful like that. xx

June 12, 2013

That picture is priceless! With my first one I was so focused in having her sleep long stretches at night in her cot, timing feedings etc that it felt like a chore and I woke up tired every morning. My second one? As soon as he woke up in the middle of the night, boob out, snuggles and everybody slept well. Works wonders and it feels so natural!

June 12, 2013

P.S: they are 6 and 3 now and both sleep great in their own beds, and come in at 6 am for morning snuggles. Love it!

June 12, 2013

Such a lovely photo of Marlow and you! I say everyone should do as they like.
As you know, I am the one Babyccino girl who has a very different attack on this. For me, it was never really a question that my kids started sleeping on their own and through the night a young age. I think my oldest started sleeping through when she was 3 months old and the younger one when she was 6 weeks old. I personally sleep better and function better if I get a good nights sleep and have to admit I am a useless mother when I am too sleep deprived.

June 12, 2013

I have 7 children and they all slept with me when they were little. It was so much easier to feed them and stay semi asleep myself. A few years ago we got a little puppy that I did the same thing with. It worked like a charm and (faster than my children) a few nights later she was content to sleep next to our bed and then graduated to her own crate in the kitchen.

June 12, 2013

Hi Courtney, I liked reading your post and understanding a different point of view. I started reading your blog recently and now I really enjoy catching up with your family. I am from Brazil and I have 2 boys. My older son never slept in my bed, when he was born I did not mind at all going to his room and doing everything there several time during the night. My second baby ( who is 9 months) wakes up many times as well but because I’m much more tired with 2 kids and he is soo demanding (sometimes I have to put him in his cribe more than 3 times until he stays there) I let him sleep for and hour or so in my bed. But I just don’t co sleep because I cannot sleep well with him in my bed. I don’t know why! Anyway, I’m sure babies and children love it. Everyday, when my older son wakes up, he comes to our bed and sometimes sleeps an extra half hour there. So I think it’s best to do what works for you.
Congratulations on your family, your kids are soo beautiful!!

June 12, 2013

Oh this was so beautifully written! I truly believe you just do whatever works for you & baby and everything will work out. I don’t co-sleep (sometimes I try- but my little girl is such a thrasher when she sleeps that I have no choice but to kick her out of our bed!) but our baby has been sleeping through the night basically since day one (after our doctor gave us the go-ahead to let her sleep through the night and not wake her up for feedings). I’m a light sleeper as well, so I still find myself waking up 2-3 times a night to check and make sure she’s still alive. I do the PDF (parent-directed feeding) method and it has worked for us. I don’t think there is a wrong or right way to sleep/not sleep with your child. Everyone is different (babies included) and like I said you just need to do what suits your needs.

This post was so sweet- little babies are the best, aren’t they?!

June 12, 2013

I love this post. The photo of you is gorgeous.
I am a Swedish mum of two little boys (10 months and 2.5 years old). Our eldest, Alec, was born in the US and I was sort of surprised at how taboo co-sleeping is there. Here in Sweden, it is pretty much assumed that some kind of co-sleeping is happening for the first few months at least.
My husband is a bad sleeper, so he has moved out of our room with the arrival of each of our babies (but he handles the morning shift every day to make up for it). I’ve had them both in my bed with me, but in a Baby Nest, in the beginning. Just 5-6 weeks with Alec and around 4 months with little Louis (who still often spends some of the night with me). It feels so natural to have them close when they are little. If we have a third baby, I think I will probably co-sleep more than I did with the first two.
Great post!

June 12, 2013

My Ina is just a day older than your Marlow and she still sleeps in the tiny bassinet right next to my bed. She holds my hand to fall asleep and can see me anytime she opens her eyes at night. Having her so close to me makes it easier to nurse her since she still wakes up 2-3 times but it also comforts me to know that she’s close and I can touch her little face to comfort her in seconds. Although, the “not sleeping through the night” can be difficult, I have to keep reminding myself that these little quiet mommy/baby moments will not last forever so I have to really embrace them. We plan on moving her to her nursery when she starts to sleep through the night or until she completely busts out of her bassinet 🙂

June 12, 2013

This is a lovely photo! We have 8 children and each one spent the first year (give or take a month or so) in our bed. We began co-sleeping by accident. I didn’t know the technical term for it but I knew it felt quite awful to put my wee babe in a bed that he clearly didn’t like. He loved to snuggle under my arm and nurse when he felt like it. My mom told me this was a VERY bad idea. I cried about it to my sweet husband who said, “He’s our baby so I think it will be fine for us to choose where he will sleep.” He smiled reassuringly and we’ve been a co-sleeping family ever since. BTW… we’ve never had more than one child in our bed and 7 of our 8 children sleep independently without any sleep problems. The 8th is still a babe.

Courtney in London
June 13, 2013

Eight children?!! Amazing! What fun you all must have! Thanks for your comment and, after 8 children, your expertise… xx C

June 12, 2013

Gosh, I could have written this post myself (though not so well, obviously) as it is so familiar sounding. However I mostly kept my daughter in bed with us as I was exhausted! I’d feed her lying in bed and accidentally fall asleep there, only to be woken a couple of hours later as she woke and started rooting around again for a bit more milk. This REALLY annoyed my husband as he felt our bed had been a bit invaded, and that it was ‘risky’ with regards to cot death(?). I loved the snuggly intimacy of it, the feel of her tucked under my arm and her warm milky breath.
The nicest bit of my day is still when my son (9) and daughter (7) come into our bed for a cuddle to wake us in the mornings.

June 12, 2013

Hi Courtney,
thank you for writing this post and sharing this lovely picture!
We do the same over here: I put David ( now 8 months) in his own bed (right next to mine) around 7pm. When he wakes up for the first time at about 11 pm I take him into our bed where I nurse him on demand ( quite common here in Germany) for 2 or 3 times until we wake up at about 6 am. It’s comfortable not having to get up at night and I love the cozyness of having him snuggle up next to me.
We had a Babybay for our first one, but he ended up in our bed, too, for his first year and stayed in his own bed right next to mine untill he was 2 and slept though the night most of the time.
I never worried about hurting them as we seemed totally in sync and my midwife told me co-sleeping does not increase sids ( as long as you’re not smoking or drinking). In fact co-sleeping is very common in Scandinavia and Japan, where they don’t have higher rates of sids.
It felt so natural to me and I wouldn’t wanna miss it.
xxx Diana

June 12, 2013

I am also a co-sleeping mom. I think there are more of us out there than we realize!

June 12, 2013

Little Miss always slept in her own bed but we did tons of naps together and I love those moments as well of feeling her sleepy body next to me. It’s one of my favourite Mom moments so far. Little Miss is 10 months old soon and still sleeps next to me in our room. I’m not ready to let her go to her own yet!

xoxo PARIS BEE kids blog

Helen Brown
June 13, 2013

I utterly and completely agree with your post. We immediately fell into co-sleeping with our first baby before we had even heard of the term. We found it to be the natural thing to do and it worked for us. But everyone is so very different. And there are circumstances where it is dangerous for the baby; such as when either or both of the adults smoke or have taken medication, drugs or alcohol.

Our girls are now 8 and 5 and they regularly still sleep with us; particularly when they are sick or upset.

Helen xxx

June 13, 2013

Absolutely beautiful photo – brings back so many happy memories. Thank you so much for this post. This is a subject that I am quite passionate about. Nothing to me seems more unnatural than separating a newborn baby from its mother and sending it off to a room of its own, where the child needs to learn pretty quickly to sleep and feed according to the times that suit we parents. I’m pretty sure there is not an indigenous culture on this planet where this would be considered normal. My babies are now 14, 11 and 7 and all sleep in their own beds through the night with no apparent ill effects from their many years of co-sleeping with my husband and I. And even now there are times (especially when they are sick or tired) when they will still crawl into bed with us (even our 14 year old son).

June 13, 2013

Our son is nearing 10 months now and still sleeps in our bed. I can’t count how many times, after a very restless and sleepless night, I have uttered the sentence “I am crib training you tonight mister!”. However, once evening comes and he begins to rub his eyes and get into his sleepy routine, I can’t bring myself to do it. Since day 1, he has fallen asleep in somebody’s arms for nearly every nap and bedtime. He would cry and cry if he was put down. I truly tried one night to make him sleep in his crib, only for my husband to find the two of us cuddled in the guest bed (which is across from his bedroom), sleeping, the next morning. Now, it just feels right to have him next to me, snuggled in, and safe. We have a bedtime routine of him and Daddy playing and laughing, then rolling over to me once he’s tired, to be cuddled and fall asleep. He doesn’t sleep through the night and I am fine with this. I can’t imagine missing out on all of the fun times and laughs we have had in bed at night, or waking to him talking to himself or playing with his feet in the morning.

I don’t know how the majority of mums are able to have their babies sleep on their own. I don’t think I’d be able to sleep if I wasn’t able to look over and see him during the night. I, too, get asked constantly how he sleeps and my response is usually “He doesn’t :)”. I then explain that he sleeps with us so still wants milk during the night. When I told one delightful (sarcasm here) elderly lady that he slept with us, she responded with “Well that’s your first mistake right there!”. My response quieted her right down. “Ma’am, there was no mistake in allowing him to bond, be loved, and feel safe in his parents’ arms. Children grow up too fast and we want to hold on to every minute we can with our son.” She stuttered her apology to me after that.

Veronica Diaz
June 22, 2013

Dear Rachel,
That’s right there’s no mistake in allowing them to bond, be loved, and feel safe in their parents’ arms! Well said..

June 13, 2013

I have done the same with both my girls. My youngest is 32 months, she slept with us the first year of her life. Even now my husband will bring her to our bed when she wakes in the morning where she’ll nurse and snuggle with me until it’s time to get ready for the day. It is what worked for us.

June 13, 2013

I am in the US and did exactly what you are doing with Marlow with both of my children (I breastfed both; my daughter until 2 and my son until 2.5). And like you, I think in part it was out of my own laziness! 🙂 People also thought I was crazy for continuing to feed them on demand throughout the night but it felt right to me. when they were newborns I would have them in a bassinet next to my side of the bed, but inevitably, after the first feeding, they stayed in bed with us. when they got a little older, I would put them to bed in their crib, but again, after the first feeding, in bed with us they stayed. I sleep like you – very lightly, I wake at the slightest disruption – but my husband sleeps like a rock and so it worked well for us 😉

June 14, 2013

I loved reading this post! I have/am co- sleeping with all of my kids. (2 boys 1 girl) For me, I never felt comfortable with letting them sleep in a crib. All of my kids nursed a lot for the first yr and I was up 2-4 times a night with each child. My youngest Jack (11 months) still is up several times to feed or he wakes just to have a cuddle. Even though I’m termendously tired, I love having him close – and I know that all of them felt comforted to feel my touch and to smell their mama – co-sleeping has made our bond closer – not only for me and baby – but my husband as well. The two older ones (Will 4 yrs and Marie 22 months) all our in beds now but from time to time come into our bed – the more the merrier! Babies grow so fast – soak in as many minutes with them as you can – even in your sleep!

June 15, 2013

Never really set up a nursery. Always had the baby girls sleep in their own bed in our bedroom for the first year of their life. I read somewhere that hearing their parents breath through the night calms babies, helps them sleep peacefully and prevents sids. I ended up nursing and co-sleeping a lot in the first weeks of their life, which was really nice, but I would always put them back in their bed if I woke up during the night. I roll over a lot when I sleep and can’t sleep on the same side (facing my baby) the whole night without feeling a 100 years-old the next morning with painful muscles. My babies started sleeping through the night around 2 months old, so from that moment on, I had the joy of falling asleep to the sound of my baby’s breathing every night and nursing her in bed each morning after picking her up from her bed 1m away from mine.

June 15, 2013

This is such a lovely photo! and a popular topic! I miss the time when I was breastfeeding my 3 children. I also loved co-sleeping with my babies, but unfortunately my husband was so worried we would roll over them in our sleep or suffocate them with our duvet. He is a BIG worrier.. and I actually woke up one time with my arm over my baby’s face, no harm done, but it freaked me out! Both me and my husband are very heavy sleepers, so I made myself get out of bed to feed them and put them back in their baskets/cots : ( but I did sneak in some co sleeping later in the mornings (after the later feed around 5am) when I slept lighter, and I treasured it so!!

June 16, 2013

love this post. being a new mama i had no idea what to expect or what i was doing, so i did what felt right, which led to my daughter sleeping in bed with us until she was 18 months old, she’s now 19 months. so this is a very recent thing. she also breastfed (through the night) until then as well. we essentially night weaned + sleep trained (if you can call it that) at the same time. shortly after, maybe a week later she was completely weaned. i will forever cherish those 18 months,and never regret a moment of it. but i will say, i feel liberated, and am happy to have my space (and body) back. and so is she!

June 16, 2013

we co slept with our daughter. it felt right for us. i started her off in a bassinet though i hated her being so far from us. she is now 4, in her own bed (her choice) and i count the seconds she jumps into our bed for our morning cuddle 🙂

June 17, 2013

I cosleep with my daughter (we share a bed) and LOVE it. She is almost 10 months. I didn’t intend to do so, but after she was born I just COULD NOT STAND to have her out of arm’s reach. I didn’t feel like buy a “cosleeper” (just another piece of baby gear!) but I do think that’s a good option for some families. My husband sleeps in a different room at this point– if all 3 of us were sleeping together I would probably invest in a co-sleeper.
I do hope to transition her to her own bed when she starts eating more solids and sleeping through the night. Right now she is mostly just breast-fed and I enjoy nursing her during the night because I work during the day when she eats via a bottle. I wouldn’t mind sleeping next to her forever, but we hope to have more children and I can’t seem to imagine cosleeping with 2 kids at a time– not unless we buy a much bigger bed!

Courtney in London
June 18, 2013

Hi Sarah,
Thanks for your comment. I shared a bed with all my babies… and I think they just naturally transition into their own bed in due time. Most of my children were sleeping through the night in their own beds by 12-14 months and certainly in enough time for the next baby to come. So I don’t think you’ll have a problem with your next baby. Enjoy this special time with her while you have it. xxx

Veronica Diaz
June 22, 2013

Dear Sarah, we ended up buying a much bigger bed!

Veronica Diaz
June 22, 2013

Hey Courtey, lovely picture of you and Marlow.
I have a 4 y.o. who sometimes sleeps in our bed too. She had her own bed since the day she was born but I started to realize she would only sleep for an hour if she was on her bed, while she would sleep for up to three hours if she was sleeping between us. So I decided to let her into our bed. It just came out naturally. Another cute thing that happened is that if either me or her daddy would leave the bed she would get a cold hand. Right hand or left and, depending on whoever had left the bed. It was so funny to feel her cold hand on the side where there was no daddy and her warm hand on the other side of bed where mommy was laying. I had no heart to let her sleep on her own after I realized that..
I breastfeeded her until she turned 2 and decided she didn’t want it anymore. When she was 6 months old, the doctor told me she was underweight (although she was pretty chubby) and recommended me to stop breastfeeding. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t. It is very uncommon in my country to breasfeed after the baby is 6 months old. And many people who knew I was still doing it thought it was crazy. I was a new mom, and didn’t know much about breastfeeding. I did feel like a freak for a while until I researched on the internet and found out it was the most natural thing and that it was even recommended to do it until the baby turned 2. I regret feeling guilty and not enjoying it so much. But ever since, I just do what I feel it’s ok and what works best for us.
My daughter kept waking up once a night to breastfeed until she turned two. The happy end is, she now sleeps for 12 hours in a row. I really believe co-sleeping with your baby makes them bettter sleepers. I also don’t follow a sleeping schedule. She goes to bed between 8 and 10pm or whenever we go to bed. She naps whenever she wants too. And even though she sometimes naps from 4 to 6pm she has no problem going back to bed at 9pm. It’s funny but it seems like the more she sleeps, the more she wants to sleep. At the weekend I usually naturally wake up two or even three hours before she does. This is awesome. All those breasfeeding nights are really paying off 🙂
Sleeping with our daughter is one of the things my husband and I enjoy the most.
Enjoy this time with your babies and don’t let enyone tell you what’s right or wrong. Times flies by..

June 30, 2013

My daughter was born 6 weeks early and we did plan to cosleep even before she was born. However, even the cosleeper was too far away for her. She wanted to be snuggled right next to me or lay on my chest. She slept that way for the first 14 months and then we weaned into the crib because she would kick us far too much in the night. I felt uncomfortable telling some people that we were sleeping with our baby but over time I gained confidence in our decision. It worked for our family and I’m glad we did it. I plan to do the same with the next child. I don’t believe tiny babies need to be independent. I think they are meant to need their moms and to breastfeed as much as they need for optimum growth. There would be no way I could be in tune to my babies feeding needs if she was in a crib in another room. I do believe that everyone needs to be open minded about all parenting styles because everyone in just doing their best for their family. What works for that family is the best for them.

July 7, 2013

Reading this just now! I didn’t co-sleep much with my first. I read far too many books about baby “independence.” With my second and third I was more confident as a mother and probably more tired overall, so I just brought them in with me when they woke in their cribs. Now I have a six year old who always sleeps the whole night in his own bed, a four year old who wanders in for a snuggle several nights a week, and a two year old who calls to be brought in to our bed each night around 2 a.m. I love having the evening with just my husband, but I also love waking up with two sweet little faces on either side of me. Our king size bed was the best purchase we ever made!

August 14, 2013

I’m so glad to have read this post! I have a 4 month old my second child and she isn’t sleeping so great. What I’m wanting to know is have you ran into any sleep problems feeding your children through the night on demand? I feed Daisy around 3 times through the night, even though if I let her cry for a little while she will settle herself. I worry that because she’s small for her age she genuinely is needing the night feeds. I guess I’m looking for someone to say “go for it, it works out fine”.

I feel like there is a lot of shame or pride associated with babies sleep. I remember so proudly announcing that my first child at 7 weeks slept 12 hours. This time I feel shame that my baby is feeding every few hours through the night. Which really is ridiculous given that she’s a little baby. Reading your post has made me feel a bit more normal and okay to declare that “no, daisy doesn’t sleep all night. I feed her when she needs. She sometimes sleeps with me”.

August 26, 2013

What a beautiful pic! I’ve just discovered your blog and I’m happily reading through old posts with a cup of tea while my 8 month old naps. I’m writing from Australia where co-sleeping isn’t very popular, but I think it could be on the rise.
Whilst pregnant I was certain that my little one would sleep in his own bed. Then he arrived. We always put Ted down in his own bed, started off in a Moses basket next to our bed and then into a cot in his own room at about 6 weeks. Most nights he stays in his own bed, even after feeding him during the night he would mostly be more than happy to self settle in his own space, however not always! On those nights I was more than happy to bring him into our bed for a snuggle before us both falling asleep together, and I love it. Ted now mostly sleeps through the night however same rule applies, if for some reason he wakes and is unable to settle again in his own bed he comes in with us. One thing that hasn’t changed is his morning feed which is down in bed, I have always found it so comfortable to breastfeed laying down and it is such a lovely way to wake up together, all cosy and snuggly.

October 3, 2013

[…] on my last post about sleeping with your baby, Marlow is now 10 months old and still not sleeping through the […]

November 13, 2013

Hi Courtney,

I read this post a few months ago (when pregnant with my 2nd) and loved it. We co-slept for a bit with our first, but she really didnt seem to like it when she was younger but loves having her cot with the side of pushed up against the bed. Now that she is older, she likes coming in for a cuddle around 3/4am sometimes. My second is 4 months old now and I’m in one room co-sleeping with him and my husband and daughter are in another. Just wondering, has it been sort of a natural transition to their cot. I keep being told by my mother in law that this is a terrible habit having him in bed full time as he’ll never be able to sleep alone. Would love a post on anything you have done to aid your kiddies in sleeping through the night/transition to cot (or did they just start sleeping without waking to feed of their own accord?)

Thanks! And thanks for this post and beautiful picture

January 19, 2014

Absolutely ridiculous, dangerous & just irresponsible!

July 1, 2014

Hi Courtney,
I just read your post and totally agree with you. Maybe because I’m Italian and here is very common to co-sleep. I have two boys (1 and 3 years old) and now I sleep with the little one.
The big stayed in my bed for two years and passes in his bedroom without problem.
Thank you very much for your blog. I really enjoy to read opinions from other countries and to compare with italian ones!
Great job and great family too!

August 3, 2014

Thank you so much for sharing this!

Rachel P
September 16, 2014

Hi Courtney
Wonder if you still get these messages on older posts.

I am re reading old blogs of yours – I am a little late to finding this blog.

I really hope to do this with my next baby. Unfortunately an urgent C section meant I could not move to lift my baby, let alone lie in bed with him like this.

But hopefully next time this will work beautifully.

Rachel x

September 16, 2014

Dear Courtney,

just discovered this blog and had to write a comment.

First of all, beautiful picture and great post.

I’m in Germany and my girls are almost 4 years and almost 8 months old. 🙂 I did co-sleeping with the big one until she was almost 2 and nursed on demand until she was 15 months (sometimes every 2 hours) and do the same with the little one now, who happens to be a better sleeper. Some days I’m really tired, but I love it!

And I too am to lazy to get up several times at night. Even the thought… 😉 Also my husband doesn’t even notice when I nurse and can sleep through the night.

It feels right for all of us like this and when I see the pictures of your lovely family, it feels even more right.

Thank you for sharing!

xx Kosima

Courtney in London
September 17, 2014

Thanks for your lovely comment! I’m glad that co-sleeping and nursing on demand works for you. Enjoy that sweet baby in your bed — it goes so quickly!
xx Courtney

December 13, 2014

Beautiful photo and a interesting read.
I am surprised there aren’t more comments about intimacy with a partner when co-sleeping. I have heard co-sleepers comment before ‘well you don’t just do it in a bed’, which is fine if you have the energy for that every time and easier if you only have one baby. But what about if you have older children, you can’t be intimate in the living room when you have older children who may come downstairs for a glass of water.

Loes Bakker
January 29, 2015

I was wondering the same thing! Scrolling up, I noticed just one person saying that they had an additional “adult only” room, but for the rest it’s not really mentioned by anyone. I guess it’s not a big deal and it’s more about timing? I don’t know.

January 27, 2015

[…] from the odd post (like views on electronics or co-sleeping) we have mostly shied away from writing these more advice-driven parenting posts. I think it’s […]

February 17, 2015

[…] My babies never slept through the night until they were around one year old — they usually slept in bed with me and nursed on demand, which is something that always felt natural to me and worked for our family. […]

February 20, 2015

[…] living in Europe. I love what Courtney wrote on electronics, games consoles, sibling rivalry, co-sleeping and sibling bed sharing. She has a really intuitive, relaxed and flexible approach to parenting […]

February 27, 2015

I think the only reason that co-sleeping is not common in the UK is that our houses – and beds – are much smaller in size than in the US! I was amazed at the difference in scale when I went to the USA. Even ‘small’ homes are bigger than average houses in the UK. Here, space is so limited and we have lots of small-scale, older homes.
I think in a bed that’s not huge, you might be worried you would roll on top of the baby!?

May 21, 2015

Growing up in northern Kenya nursing and sleeping with your babies is the norm. I am lucky to learn from the best mums in the world living and working with a nomadic Samburu people. Both my girls sleep in bed, and everyone sleeps. We have a rhythm and it works.

July 16, 2015

[…] Talking about co-sleeping .. what do you think? […]

September 10, 2015

hi courtney, I know you are off on your adventure and probably quite busy, so please don’t worry if you don’t have time to reply here. But I was wondering if you could say more about the transition from co-sleeping to sleeping on their own beds. Did your different children respond differently to this change? That has been my only worry with co-sleeping, is that it could make things harder down the line?

thank you! and no worries if you’re too swamped to reply.

Courtney in London
September 19, 2015

Hi Nikaela,
Thanks for your sweet comment and question. It’s sort of difficult to answer this as I think all my kids were a little bit different, but I don’t remember there being a huge problem with the transition into their own bed. We’ve always been pretty relaxed, so it wasn’t something I really stressed. But… with the first three kids, we eventually had the pressure of getting them to sleep in their own beds because we had a new baby on the way. So by the time each of our kids were two, they were sleeping through the night and staying in their own beds. For some it was an easier transition, but I think that when the time comes when you decide they need to stay in their own bed, it’s best to be consistent, and then over time they eventually get the hang of it.
Sorry for the not-so-clear advice. This is one of those fuzzy ones that is hard to explain exactly how we did it! 🙂

February 11, 2016

[…] baby’s cries!). I’m also quite relaxed about sleeping arrangements — always letting my babies sleep in my bed and feeding on demand — but with each of our kids, there came a time (usually around one […]

May 27, 2017

Really good to read this. I’m a bit in between with my second baby. He sleeps in his bed till he wakes up in the night. Then he comes and sleeps with us for a bit till I wake up and think about him falling out of the bed and then he goes back. Haha… super stupid haha. I love to sleep with him together but I also dream about him falling out of the bed when he sleeps on the outside. How do you do this when you have to feed on that side when he is on the outside of the bed? I love to have him in the middle between mummy and daddy.

Courtney in Australia
May 29, 2017

Thanks for your comment! I know what you mean about feeding on the side that is toward the edge of the bed. I too prefer him to sleep on the inside of us. I’m just such a light sleeper (and he’s not rolling yet!), so I know he won’t fall out. Also, I make sure there is plenty of space between him and the edge of the bed, even if that means I’m way over on Michael’s side of the bed. 🙂 I hope this helps! x

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