I never know what to do when I see someone else’s kid doing something I do not approve of. Do I tell them off or do I hope that their parents/nannies noticed what they were up to and discipline them themselves?
Every parent seems to have a different approach to dealing with a misbehaving child, so that, even as a parent yourself, it is very hard to get involved.
Also, what is perceived as misbehaving really depends on the parent. For example, in our house it is an absolute no-no to jump and bounce on the couch, armchairs or on our dinning chairs, as I have seen too many overexcited kids topple over with the chair and really hurt themselves. At most of my friends’ houses, this is not an issue at all, and all the kids bounce around on the soft furniture. All parents seem to have different rules and regulations and who am I to judge who is right and who is wrong?!
But when I see a kid pushing or hitting I do think I should say something, even if that means that some other parent might think that I am a meddling cow and should keep my nose out of their business!
I was at a birthday party the other day and an older girl pushed my daughter. Her mom did nothing. Then she did it a second time and pushed one of my daughter’s friend too. I said something and glared at her mother so that her mother finally removed the child from the situation. Should you say something depends on whether the action affects your child and his/her space or not.
I have to agree. I get involved, always in a nice way, only when it affects my child.
If things are happening inside my house, like children bouncing on my sofa then I just put a stop to it. In my house they have to follow my rules.
My house, my rules. But I must say if we are out, especially at a play place and another kid bullies one of my little guys, I step in. To me hitting or pushing is an unacceptable behavior. I will got up to the child and tell him he needs to play nice and hope that the mother/nanny saw and will then do something. Parenting is not always easy and it is a slippery slope when you don’t always agree with other parents.
I was at a playground in Notting Hill (with Esther) and this awful little boy was cursing and bullying this poor, crying child. The boy continued to be sooo horrible to all the other kids, that I just felt compelled to stop it. I found his mum (who was chatting with a girlfriend) and thought I should tell her so she would know what her son was doing, and so that she would ask him to stop. I told her he was cursing and bullying and she said, “So? He’s a man, he’s got to defend himself, doesn’t he?”
So… the moral of that story is that some parents have COMPLETELY different parenting styles and just don’t care whether their child will probably end up in jail some day! Gosh- it’s really actually quite sad.
I tend to step in when the bullied/mistreated kid is mine. My first impulse is to intervene even when the victim is not my own child, but I try not to do it because I know people can get really annoyed.
I also get frustrated when friend’s children misbehave in front of their parents and they do not say anything, but because they are friends I do not intervene and I suffer in silence!
Me and my big Dutch mouth – I should be more like you girls – but I have a hard time keeping it to myself when I see a child misbehaving and the parents don’t intervene!!! If it’s my child who’s suffering or not!