FOR MUMS

Three children is perfect (for us)


I’ve been going through kind of a weird period. Nothing dramatic, just weird. It’s this: We (my husband and I), have decided that we’re very lucky to have three beautiful, wonderful, and healthy children (and each other), and that we probably (ok, certainly) won’t have any more.
So. Now that Ava is 8 months, and she’s sitting up steadily, it is time for me to part with all of the newborn baby stuff. The teeny tiny outfits: keep some for the grandchildren, give the rest away. The crib sheets embroidered by my grandmother: in storage. The baby mobiles: donate to friends. How odd! It means that I will never be pregnant again, that I will never again feel a warm and slippery newborn baby on my belly (and smell that delicious smell!), and experience that little mouth searching for my nipple for the very first time, or share that very special moment with my husband, where we look at our newborn baby in awe, counting all of the fingers, laughing tenderly about those big feet. I will have to part with this ‘newborn baby’ phase for the rest of my life.
I am a lucky woman and I feel blessed with my three beautiful, wonderful, and healthy children. But it feels a little bit sad. Fingers crossed I will have many grandchildren and may live the day to experience them!

xxx Esther

PS picture of Ava (sharing a bath with me)


SHARE

Comments (31)

January 21, 2011

We have four and our youngest is now 3. I have been going through the same thing lately as this is about the age where, for 11 years, I would have just had a newborn. I feel completely secure and happy with our decision to be done at four but am none the less filled with an odd feeling. Not regret but just a feeling of entering a new epoch in our family evolution that I have been far to busy with bellies and babies over the last 11 years to ponder 😉 Anyway raising a glass to you, to our “perfect sized” families and to future grandchildren ! 😉 Cheers!


January 21, 2011

I totally know that feeling! I have four aged 8,5,2 and 1 definatly perfect sized for us and we are so lucky and we are very sure we dont want to have anymore children, but it is a bit sad that newborn phase is so magical. Im looking forward to seeing how it translates to newborn grandchildren.


Carmen
January 21, 2011

I am there too. My three are almost 8, 5 and almost 4 now and I miss the baby thing (in fact, I have given away most baby stuff but still have kept enough tiny things). But, I am 38, going on 39, and I would not want to change my up to now very good luck with healthy and “perfect” (for their mummy) kids.


Lucy
January 21, 2011

O Esther, I know exactly what you mean! I am the proud Mama to three healthy, beautiful boys, the youngest being just 10 weeks old. My husband keeps saying that “three is enough”, but I just can’t bring myself to say it out loud yet! Don’t get me wrong, I’m very much in the here and now with my newborn and enjoying every moment and I appreciate how lucky I am. But I’ve already had to tearfully store away the clothes size 50/56 and it is just too much to imagine that I will never be pregnant again. So what you’re feeling makes completely sense to me! x


January 21, 2011

Brought a tear to my eye! 😉


SHOW ALL COMMENTS
Heather Roberts
January 21, 2011

don’t! you’ll have me crying. x


Courtney in London
January 21, 2011

I have read this twice now and cried both times. It’s so true!
I think I will always have a difficult time saying (out loud, at least) that I won’t have any more babies. It really means an end of an era — never being pregnant again, never breastfeeding again, never again having that blissful, cozy period after a baby is born…
Gosh, if it weren’t so expensive to have children… I might consider just one more!
But I suppose, no matter how many you have, you must reach this point eventually.
So… like you said, let’s hope for LOTS of grand children!
xoxo


Kosima
January 7, 2017

Dear Courtney, it made me smile from one ear to the other to read your comment on this topic. 🙂 Not only were you lucky enough to experience all you said with sweet Marlow, but you will soon have it all again. How wonderful is that? You must be very happy. I hope you are. Lots of love, Kosima


January 21, 2011

About to have what we expect to be our last baby. Every moment and first also seems like a last. I look forward to what this next stage brings.


Sonia
January 21, 2011

Hi Esther, I am still crying now. I am in the same conditions plus my baby boy today is One Year Old.


Kelly Carter
January 21, 2011

I had two wonderful children but lost my beautiful little girl at 22 months to a rare genetic disease, HLH, last summer after 10 weeks of horrendous treatment at Great Ormond St Hospital in London. My little boy is 4 and may also develop the disease but we can’t test him to find out whether he will get it. My husband and I can’t have any more children together in case we pass on the genetic disease to another child.
I miss my daughter so much, I worry about my son everyday and am desperate to have another child but can’t.
Savour every moment you have with your children. Life was so rosy this time last year and we never realised how good we had it.


Estelle R
January 21, 2011

So many tears here too. I can identify with each and every word. I am still surrounded by all the tiny outfits, unable (for the moment at least) to let go and admit there won’t be any more.


Esther in Amsterdam
January 21, 2011

Girls, it helps to see I’m not alone with this funny, sad feeling.
Kelly, I’m so, so sorry for you. Life is so unfair. Thanks for posting a comment.
xxx


January 21, 2011

I guess I am a bit out the line with my 2 kids (one just a bit older than Ava).
We want 3 so I know my belly will be growing one more time but for the last time. Already now this is weird to think about… interesting to read your post and comments, I might enjoy my next pregnancy even more!

@Kelly, I am so sorry for you and feel so sad to read this! I wish you all the best and really hope it turns out your little boy is all healthy and fine! Really, fingers crossed!!!


January 21, 2011

Ahh…lovely post and I quite understand your bittersweet memories of those newborn days. I only have the two little darlings – we decided we couldn’t afford a third after we committed to school fees! But I wish I could have 1 more and keep it in that yummy baby phase. So delicious.

Like you, I’m already looking forward to being a granny and my daughter’s only 5! A few years to wait methinks….!


Marika
January 21, 2011

I have two gorgeous girls and my husband and I both feel that our family is complete but I also feel the same way…. I am sad that I will never have that private feeling of the baby moving inside me and nobody else knowing……


Maren
January 21, 2011

Thanks so much for posting this Esther. I have 3 children and the last is 2. I have been struggling with whether or not to have another. I am so lucky to have the healthy 3 I have, but yet I still find myself yearning for that new baby at times. My husband thinks I am crazy. So it was nice to read all these posts and see I am not alone.


Veronica Diaz
January 21, 2011

My little girl is 2 now. I breastfeeded until she was 18 months (It just happened that way). We stopped when she was ready to and I don’t regret it. We enjoyed every moment of it and even though I know it doesn’t go that way for every woman and child, I know we were lucky to have had that experience. I see her growing at light-speed and I know that feeling of putting away clothes that don’t fit her anymore.. Even though I know a second child might luckily wear again one day, I still get sentimental about seeing her grow and looking at that storage box containing so much laughter and happy memories..I cheer myself up by thinking how lucky we are to have her in our lifes and have the blessing of seeing her grow.
Thanks again for this beautiful post. It’s so good to know we are not alone having this feelings.

@ Kelly, I guess there are no words to make you feel any better but I want to thank you for posting about what you are going through. You are so right.. We are so busy in our daily routine, worring about unimportant things, we often forget how good we have it. How lucky we are to be healthy and to have each other. I often argue with my husband because he is not helping enough (even though I know he does his best. He’s just not a mom).
I am sure your daughter was the happiest and luckiest little girl to have had guys and a life unfurtunately so many children never do.
Love, Veronica.


Emma
January 21, 2011

I too have 3 little ones (6,4 and 15 months) and your words and feelings are so true. Even though I know I am “done”, it is so hard emotionally to move on from the having babies stage. I feel so blessed to have my little unit but sometimes wish I had started a bit earlier so that 4th might have happened!


Nicole
January 22, 2011

I agree… I have 3 kids and the little one just turned 1. Makes me sad to think thats it…. I just keep asking my friends around me to have babies!!! lol


Juliene
January 24, 2011

I love this post because I’m about to experience the Newborn Thing for the first time, and I’m a little scared. It’s nice to see how you all enjoyed it so much, that you are sad to leave that phase behind. Your fond memories give me reassurance for the new phase that I am entering. ((hugs)) to you all.


April 12, 2011

[…] that they have now grown out of. I completely understand Esther’s feelings in her recent post – I do feel slightly melancholic that all of these well-loved items are being packed away. […]


May 20, 2011

[…] disclosed already how I feel about the fact that that ‘we’re done with babies’. I’m sort of in a […]


November 17, 2011

I have three. I think this is (almost definitely) it. But reading this i waiver. I did not appreciate my first two as babies the way i appreciate Lola and i cannot bear to think she will be big soon. The smell of her head is like a drug. I swear if you could bottle it you could have world peace!


Leslie
November 18, 2011

Wow, wow.
I can’t believe I came upon this post today. I am an emotional wreck lately. I am blessed to have 3 healthy beautiful boys (5,3, and 10 months). And all I think about is getting pregnant again.
I can’t figure it out. Everyone around me thinks I’m crazy (husband included) I’m 41 so this may not even be an option any more and I don’t really like being pregnant. But I just love my boys so much I want more! And the idea of never having any more feels so sad. And yes, I would love to have the experience of having a little girl. And I also love watching my children play together. It is so precious.


Megan
September 12, 2012

I have 3 children ages 3, 4 & 5. I have also been so sad lately knowing that I won’t have anymore babies. I am only 32, and would love to have more, but we can’t afford another…we can’t afford the 3 we have! But, I am too, excited about grandkids and also excited about being able to go on adventures with the kids now that there isn’t a baby. Enjoyed the post. Thank you!


Marina
February 7, 2015

teared up after reading this, Esther… I totally get what you mean. I had my first baby 3 months ago and i’m so glad to have found your post. I was feeling a bit silly because my baby no longer fits on the first clothes he wore and i found myself crying about it. This is why sharing is good, not feeling so silly anymore.

PS – I know that you now have four children (i’m reading old posts!!), so you got to keep those baby stuff a while longer 😉


Asima
March 8, 2015

I guess 4 was perfect after all! 🙂 How perfect indeed!


Esther in Amsterdam
March 9, 2015

I guess whatever it is, it’s always perfect! 🙂 xxx


Marietje
April 1, 2015

O, I just feel the same! Our youngest just turned 1. We have four children, but sadly our first one died when he was 10 weeks old (Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy). I always wanted four children. Now I have, but of course not in the way I wanted… I have three girls now, in four years, so it’s busy. There won’t be any baby soon (my last pregnancy was pretty hard with two little girls around and with no much help) , but after reading this post I can say “maybe in a few years”.
X


Esther in Amsterdam
April 2, 2015

You bet! 😉 x


Leave a Comment