What’s in a name?
Unless they’re called William III, or Jesse James Junior, you might have gone through nine months of nervous brainstorming — what should I call my new baby? I found it to be a very difficult task, and my husband and I have spent more than a few hours debating about it! I guess I like short, catchy names, because all our kids’ names have no more than 4 letters. I also like names that work in multiple languages. And they should work well with our family name (van de Paal).
Our first baby is called SARA van de Paal. I’ve always thought Sara is a beautiful name, very old-fashioned, but at the same time very simple and modern. I like how there are so many As in the first and last name. (more…)
Two Kids and a Little Baby
People ask me how I’m getting on with three kids. Well, I get on. And it’s great! Ava is the sweetest baby in the world. Of course. She’s delightful and wonderful. She’s that easy third child I’ve heard rumours about. She’s the icing on the cake, the cherry on the pie…
After the first weeks after the birth, we’re now back in our usual structure. Getting up, having breakfast, kids to school… The baby adjusts to the schedule, and sometimes the schedule adjusts to her. Life is not so different, it’s just a whole lot better! We all enjoy her so much (even in the middle of the night) and the kids absolutely adore her.
Of course it takes longer to get out of the house, and of course the other kids need more attention, and of course she wakes up three times at night, and of course the milk in the fridge is finished. But the thing is, I’m just not so bothered by it anymore.
We live, we love, and we have each other. It feels good to have three kids!
xxx Esther
Baby Massage
When my first daughter was a tiny, little newborn, there was only one thing that got me out of bed for 9:00 in the morning, sleep-deprived and all. It was the baby massage classes in my local town hall in London. I started them when my little girl was about 2 weeks old and it was a great experience both for her and me. She really relaxed during the sessions and, after I got the hang of it and started massaging her on a daily basis at home, she started associating it bed time. It became a nightly ritual for us, and I do think it played a role in her becoming a good sleeper.
For me the baby massage classes were a life-line to meeting other mums in my neighbourhood. We were all in the same boot — we had been working on our careers and suddenly were discovering a completely new way of life, and it was great to hang out with other woman who were going through a similar experience.
Baby Massage ateliers are popping up all around Paris now. I know of some at Mum and Babe and at the Bonton flag shop, though I have not personally tested them. I am pretty sure you can find them in most cities now –I cannot recommend baby massage highly enough.
- Emilie
Is it a girl thing?
You’ll have to excuse me for making such assumptions… but after having two boys, I’m new to the world of girls. Are all girls into shoes? Do all girls have an opinion on what they want to wear? And is this something I’m going to have to live with for the next 18 years?! My boys have never asked to wear something in particular — they’ve always just been happy to get their clothes put on them… and then they’re out the door and back to playing without giving it a second thought. My daughter, on the other hand, is not even one yet and she already has an opinion!
As I mentioned last week, I bought my daughter a pair of Pom D’api sandals — her first ‘real’ pair of shoes. And she is completely obsessed with them. Like temper-tantrum-when-you-take-them-off sort of obsessed. And I intentionally didn’t make any sort of fuss about the shoes at all… because for one, I don’t want to make her aware of ‘new’ clothes, and for two, I don’t want her to care about these sorts of things. But she does, apparently. (more…)
Everybody dies
My nearly-5-year-old daughter is going through some really deep thinking about life and death. I think she’s suddenly realising what ‘dead’ means, and can get really upset about it. The other day she was crying inconsolably about the fact that people die, and she asked if I would die. I said I would, but hopefully when I’m very, very old.
The thing is, my mum died of breast cancer almost 2 years ago (I wrote about it here, here and here), so my daughter knows very well that people can also die when they get very, very sick. So, to complicate the matter, she said that I could die of illness as well, something I could hardly deny.
And who would then take care of her? I told her her daddy would, but she asked what would happen if he would die as well. I told her her grandparents would take care of her. But what if they would die? Etcetera. Meanwhile she was crying her heart out.
How difficult it can be, to grow up, to start understanding some of the mean parts of life, and how hard it sometimes is to be a mum and to not really know the right answers… (more…)
A romantic night… IN
A while ago Esther and I were asked by the new website Domestic Ease to write a post about how to have a romantic night at home, so as not to spend a fortune on restaurants and babysitters. We had a great time writing the post — some of the tips we have actually tried and tested ourselves while the others we will definitely try out in the future…
Here are our ideas for a fabulous date night that won’t break the bank:
1. Prepare a cheese fondue following this recipe, add some French bread and serve a good, dry white wine. Imagine you’re in the Swiss mountains.
2. Buy a (tango) dance instruction DVD and get moving!
3. Borrow (or rent) a display projector and play something hopelessly romantic on a big screen (a piece of white wall or a white bed sheet) in the living room. Cook up some popcorn and make yourselves comfy on a big blanket with pillows. (more…)
Long-haul flights and jet-lag
I am by no means a medical expert, but I have done a ton of traveling with my kids, have survived more long-haul flights than I can count and have dealt with jet-lag more times than I would like. On the whole it is never easy, especially the flights. But I do find that it’s more daunting in theory than in practice (I usually start to dread the flight, especially if I’m flying on my own with the kids, about 3 months before the day… plotting out all the possible worse-case scenarios in my head). In general, the nightmare scenarios never happen and the flights go more smoothly than I imagined. I think my biggest tip is to be super organized — have everything you might need during the flight in an easily accessible carry-on. Bring healthy snacks (like raisins, pretzels, fruit) to keep your kids happy and distracted at the crucial times like take-off and landing when you have to be seated. Have your kids’ favourite books on-hand. And make sure your kids use the toilet BEFORE you board the plain. The more organized you are, the easier the whole experience will be. Oh, and I really think it makes a world of difference to buy your kids their own headphones — ones that actually fit them and stay on. (more…)
Work-Family-Balance
I was talking to Esther the other day about how to balance family life with a working life, and it brought up some interesting thoughts…
I am an animation producer and Esther is an architect, both are professions which we are passionate about and both are a lot of fun. On the flip side, they are jobs that are very difficult to switch off from when the working day is finished. We have both been finding it “challenging” to keep all balls in the air, but we agreed on one thing: having kids and a job teaches you an important lesson — how to switch from work to family.
I used to drink, eat and sleep my job and was never fully able to enjoy my evenings. Now with kids this is actually physically impossible –when I get home I need to give them my full attention if I like it or not. Funnily enough it gives me a rest from obsessing about work issues, which actually means that I am possibly better at what I do now because I get some distance from it and take a real break in the evening.
Now I might be pushing this theory a bit too far but I think having kids might actually make you better at your job. Who would have thought!?
- Emilie
First-aid elephant from Goodies of Desire
Before we moved to a new house a few weeks ago, we used to live in an apartment building. Parking in the basement, large elevator, and the rooms conveniently laid-out on one single level. Disadvantage: no garden. Advantage: no stairs.
Last week I came home from work and found my 4-year-old daughter sitting on the sofa with a package of frozen red cabbage wrapped in a tea towel, pressed to her forehead. A bump the size of an egg was slowly developing. You guessed it, she fell from the stairs (or, as she stated, her little brother pushed her, but I’m not sure how much of a truth there is in that). Poor girl.
Now I’m not against red cabbage, (we prepare it with a little sugar and apples — truly delicious with good sausage or game), but don’t you think this cute little elephant from Goodies of Desire would do a much better job at soothing a little (or bigger) owie? I do, and thus, from now on, I keep one in the freezer compartment of my fridge for cases of emergencies. Good to have around.
The friendly elephant is filled with cherry pits and the label says that in addition to the usual bumps and bruises it can also be useful for ‘Kopfenschmerzen & Kater’ (headache & hang-over) or ‘Milchstau’ (engorgement). VERY good to have around. (more…)
New Years Resolution 1 of 999,999
This year I am getting organized! And this year, unlike the last few years, I am really serious. I totally triple swear.
While I have never been a “Type A” person and have always led a life of total chaos behind the scenes, I have finally hit a breaking point. My girls are turning four next month and I have yet to put together a single photo album or memory book. I have everything from sonogram pictures to photos of their 3rd birthday party in the same box stashed in my closet. I have amassed piles of all of the cute clothing that they outgrew because I simply can’t let go of the memories. And that is just their stuff — let’s not even begin to talk about mine.
The other day I stumbled upon the book One Year to an Organized Life which seemed heaven sent. I have tried to organize in vain before but it seems that the piles always get bigger and the work is never done. The more I try — the worse it becomes. I always wind up feeling defeated and run out of steam. I did have someone help me with my closet last year but that was just a starting point. In a perfect world I would just love to always put my keys in the same place, have a streamlined file cabinet, and stop constantly looking for my cell phone in my bag… but most importantly, I want to have the memories of my girls growing put in order. (more…)
Salmonella and other reasons why I am afraid to eat anything ever again….
On New Years Eve, during a major snowstorm, one of my daughters became violently ill. The timing, of course, could not have been worse and after a call to the doctor we were put at ease, told to stay in, to push fluids and to ride it out. “There’s a stomach bug going around and it will pass” — we were told. But “stomach bug” I knew this was not. This thing, whatever she had, was far more sinister. A day later and two separate trips to the emergency room we wound up in the hospital for seven days of pure agony. Not only were we quarantined in a room that we were not allowed to leave but my potty-trained daughter was back in diapers –- going to the bathroom up to 30 times a day and screaming every time (sorry tmi). The poor thing was finally diagnosed with Salmonella (it takes 3 days to show up in a blood culture), and even rarer, it had spread to her bloodstream. Where she got it – I still don’t know. Salmonella is one of those things that you can get from food, playing with a turtle, anywhere really – nobody knows. And when a kid gets it, especially if it gets into the blood, it is nothing short of terrifying. (more…)
Sweet Parting Gifts…
So someone dared one of my husband’s very conservative and straight-laced co-workers to grow a shaggy 1970’s style moustashe last month. I guess everyone chipped in $10 and pretty soon the guy was going to make a small killing — so he did it. Anyway, after a month or so the moustache was in full force and he looked, as predicted, ridiculous. So after the jokes were told ad nauseum the poor guy got his loot and was free to shave it off. As a parting gift, they took a picture and printed out his face on an M&M and gave tiny tin boxes to the entire staff. I thought it was a cool idea! Who knew you could print an image on that tiny thing? While I don’t advocate the eating of junky candy per se, I do like silly ideas. We just ordered a bunch with a picture of the girls to give out at their birthday party next month.
-Dina
“Don’t Like It”
Does this scenario ring any bells with you? You want to treat your kids to a delicious meal and so you slave over the stove to make sure the meal has the right nutritional value and is above all, tasty! Then you hear the famous words: “I don’t like it!!!!” Sometimes followed by the even more inane question: “Can I have a bonbon instead?”
I do sometimes wonder why I bother peeling potatoes and carrots, trimming beans, deciding what shape they should be cut in, asking myself if they would be better steamed or roasted or even just boiled. I think the phrase “Don’t like it” is one of the most disheartening things for a parent to hear.
By the way, the same goes for clothes: you spend hours thinking about what you should buy for you little one, what would suit them and what they would be comfortable in… only to be told: “Don’t like it”!!! (more…)
My Quotable Kids — a safe place for kid’s quotes
I know it, you know it, kids can be hysterical. Sometimes they say things that make us laugh out loud, roll over the floor, wipe away our tears and then frantically reach for a pen and paper (or an Iphone, or computer, or whatever we have handy to make a note), as to not lose the thought and to make sure the quote will be treasured forever and ever and ever.
Well, as for me, I keep losing the strips of paper, and my email drafts and my Iphone are so overloaded with notes (and quotes) that I’d rather never look at it again. And, well, I’m just not so very organized I suppose.
Until I found out about My Quotable Kid — A Parents’ Journal of Unforgettable Quotes. It has very easy-to-use, cute pages where you can fill in the who/where/when and what, as to never forget the quote, and more importantly, to keep them all safely together in one place. I started my book this week and I’m very excited about it.
A great gift for girlfriends with children I think! Available through Amazon (UK
xxx Esther
Infertile Thoughts: Part 1
I have wanted to write a post on this for a while now as it is a topic that I unfortunately hear about way too often. Infertility is an issue that I have dealt with personally and continue to think about every single day of my life. To be honest, I don’t even know where to begin as there is just so much to talk about and I am sure you will hear a lot more from me on this. I thought I would just start with talking about some of the things that helped me get through the endurance contest of it all.
I kind of relate the whole experience to having, say, a panic attack or getting hit by a car… unless you have been there, it is hard to really tap into the emotional and physical toil of it all. Statistics say that 10% of the population is affected but to me, and it’s perhaps just the age demographic that I am in, the numbers seem even higher. Without going into too much of the background detail “infertility” is diagnosed as a “failure to conceive naturally within a year.” Some of the main reasons as to why so many women are affected are attributed to factors such as 1) age – women are putting off childbearing until later in life resulting in poorer egg quality, 2) a medical problem such as endometriosis or a male factor problem) or 3) it is simply “unexplained”. (more…)
11-13 weeks scan at the Fetal Medicine Centre
My first two babies were born in London. Even though I had both of them through the National Health Service system, I went to the Fetal Medicine Centre (FMC), a private clinic on Harley Street in London, for the 11-13 week scans. Reason is, the founder of the FMC is Professor Kypros Nicolaides, the world’s authority on fetal medicine and the person who discovered the relationship between Down Sydrome and the measurement of the nuchal translucency!
Since I was exactly 12 weeks pregnant when we met with the girls in London a few weeks ago, I decided that this little baby also had to receive the test of all tests at the place of all places. And it was fabulous to see that little person happily moving around inside of me!
Everything looked absolutely perfect at the scan, BUT (and here’s the but!) I was told that the nasal bone of this little 12-week-old creature was on the small side. Not non-existent, but small. And, I was told, a non-existent, or very small nasal bone is one of the soft markers for Down syndrome. However, since the rest of the rest of the test was good, and the results of the blood test were fine, the overall chance of a chromosomal disorder was still considered small. (more…)
Date Night
So I went to see “New Moon” this weekend. I have been looking forward to it for months! And yes, I was one of the older people in the theater. And yes, I think Robert Patterson is hotter than hell! But in the final analysis I did not think the movie was as good as “Twilight”, a movie which reminded me that 1) vampires are actually much cooler and better dressed then I expected and 2) I needed to plan more “date nights.”
I really don’t like the term “date night.” I feel like there is so much pressure — like we are supposed to easily switch off our day-to-day roles and somehow slip back to the carefree days of our old selves…. days, say, when my husband did not openly pick his nose in front of me…. days when I could drink a bottle of wine and not be completely incapacitated the next day.
People talk about it a lot here but rarely stick to it and I totally get it. It’s just so hard to feel romantic and energized when you have young kids pulling at you all day long and what’s worse, a dinner out at a restaurant really just does not cut it.
But it is so important to do! To feel connected to your significant other as well as reclaim the side of yourself that exists outside of your daily role. (more…)
La Cantine
I was on the phone to Courtney the other day and she was talking about getting packed lunches ready for her sons to take to school. I almost fell off my chair!
Here in France (or at least at my kids’ state-run schools) there is no way a sandwich is ever going to be introduced onto the school premises.
It seems like one of the main responsibilities that the French State has taken upon itself is to educate its masses into making every little French inhabitant a culinary expert.
My little girl has been going to the local maternelle since she was 3 years old. At lunch time she, and another 150 kids roughly her size, get taken to the cantine. They all sit down around the table and get served a 3/4 course meal. They start with a starter (salad, soup or similar), continue with a main course, then get a piece of cheese and finish off with a dessert. The weekly menu is hung outside the school for the whole neighourhood to see. And if I don’t have time to check it outside the school I can read about it on my town hall’s website! (more…)
Listen to them and they just might listen to you…
So there is a very funny, incredibly loud, stay-at-home dad at my girls’ pre-school who would not stop talking about this book! One day at morning drop-off he strode in, book in hand, and proclaimed “Got my kid to not fight me to get out of the house in the morning and it only took one conversation.” Granted, this peaked my interest to say the least, but I have found myself struggling lately with the fact that most of my requests fall on deaf ears these days.
Unconditional Parenting
The author believes that “the way kids learn to make good decisions is by making decisions, not by following directions” and that our job as parents is to empower them whenever we can. (more…)
Birthday gifts for a “No Gifts Please” party
When I was a kid, birthday parties were thrown at home and consisted of three elements:
1) Food: Cake (and one that generally looked like this)
2) Décor: party hats, a few stray balloons, a lone streamer taped to a wall somewhere.
3) Entertainment: pin the tail on the donkey, duck-duck-goose and an overall scene that looked a little like this.
Maybe this was just the norm for the ’70s, but I certainly don’t remember going to anything like the ones my kids go to today. For some reason, children’s birthday parties have morphed these full-scale events – one more elaborate or creative then the next! The birthday scene is big business in NYC, and I am simply amazed at the amount of places that have cropped up just to throw “theme” parties. I recently found myself at a birthday party for a one-year-old who not only slept through the whole birthday party but also had a full petting zoo of tiny animals set up in their apartment. A petting zoo. In a New York apartment. Have we really gone that far? (more…)
