When do you start giving chores?
This weekend something monumental happened in my house: the girls made me their very first breakfast. I grant you, it was an odd combination of cheese, cake and dried crackers and the plates and cups were not placed in the classic style BUT…. they were so proud of themselves, and it was one of my favourite breakfasts ever! It made me think that I don’t give Coco and Violette enough responsibility around the house.
As a single mom with a job (I am an animation producer during the day) I have the tendency to quickly tidy up, wash and clean, instead of investing time into teaching the girls how to clear up and wash the dishes and do simple tasks. Now I actually think I really need to take the time to let the girls get involved and give them the feeling of responsibility.
I am not (yet) going to ask them to whip up a soufflée for me, but rather to stack up the dishwasher, make their beds and fold away their clothes. I am sure that at the beginning they are going to think it is fun and after a while they’ll start finding their tasks annoying, but it is such an important part of growing up and learning how to take on responsibility.
I would love to hear about your experiences. At what age did you start giving your kids chores to do, or is this something that does not exist anymore?
P.S. The above is a photo of Coco and Vivi working very hard at making pancakes.
Home safety (and the Ouch! Box)
I was recently chatting with a friend and she told me that they had just spent the weekend making their house safer. Of course my interest was roused — what did they do that I should be doing??
Well, first, they installed smoke and carbon dioxide detectors. I must admit that I was kind of shocked when I heard that they had only just installed them — they’ve been living in their flat for over 5 years and have 2 small children! (I mentally prided myself on having bought a smoke detector within a week of moving in our new rental house last year. And we don’t have gas in the house so a CO2 detector is not necessary.)
Secondly, my friend got a fire escape rope ladder as they are living in a fourth flour apartment (we are on the ground floor – check).
Step three: they bought a proper First Aid Kit. They even got one of those shiny silver emergency blankets! She didn’t have a clue what to use it for yet, but — step four — she would soon find out in the First Aid for children course she booked.
OK, impressive. That same evening I sat down and got an Ouch! Pouch, which includes the mysterious thermal blanket we discussed and a variety of other First Aid essentials (like bandages, plasters, alcohol pads etc.). I also got an Ouch! Box, which not only looks cool but is lockable, and will from now on hold all of the medications that thus far lived in an old shoebox. Plan B is to follow an online First Aid course; I followed an infant First Aid course when Sara (now 5) was a baby but I have forgotten lots of it.
So… How safe is your house? Do you have any more essential safety tips I should be thinking about?
xxx Esther
ONE YEAR AGO WE WROTE ABOUT:
• Long-haul flights and jet-lag• Safe to be polished, with Priti Princess
Swimming Exams
My 5-year-old daughter, Sara, just passed her first swimming exam! Swimming is taken really serious here in the Netherlands, which is not surprising if you consider the amount of water which surrounds us. Children are taught how to swim at an early age and have to prove their abilities by passing a difficult exam. They have to dive through an underwater hole, show they master different stroke techniques such as breast stroke, back stroke, front crawl, and lifesaving techniques which mean they have to swim fully clothed (with shoes on even!). I remember having to pass the same test as a child and it was very difficult and tiring. I hated having to swim with all my clothes on! How do you teach your kids to swim? Are there similar swimming exams in your country?
xxx Esther
P.S. Photo of Sara during her exam.
Baby’s home… what now?
Yesterday I sat down with a friend who is expecting a baby in June, and we watched the DVD ‘Baby’s Home… What Now?‘ together. Cozy!
When I was pregnant with my first child, I read about 5 different ‘What to expect’ books. Looking back, it’s sort of funny to realise how I was sweating it — the scary unknown made me reach out to all of the written wisdom I could find! I wish this DVD had existed then: yes, you can study how to swaddle a baby from books, but seeing somebody actually do it makes a LOT more sense! Same for breastfeeding, changing a nappy, or filing your baby’s nails! Even for baby number 2 or 3, this DVD is a nice refresher course for how it’s done best. Available online through Amazon.com
xxx Esther
ONE YEAR AGO WE WROTE ABOUT:
• Can’t beat the cuteness — Noonies from Lala’s• Papaw ointment — an Australian treasure
Cabbage and Flea — nicknames for children?
I was at the passport office the other day with my daughter waiting in line without much to do (the 5-year-old had pulled ranks on me and highjacked the Iphone) and I started thinking about the affectionate names the French had for kids. The lady behind the counter had just addressed little Coco as la puce literally translated as ‘the flea’. A while later I overheard a mom talking to her daughter and calling her mon choux: ‘my cabbage’.
True, said in French puce and choux sound cute, translated into English — not so cute. I had to laugh because I have been using these terms all this time and never thought about what they really meant! Do you have similar affectionate names in your language?
-Emilie
Little Eats
If you live in Melbourne or are planning a visit, a fabulous (and totally cute) website to check out is Little Eats. Little Eats is the brainchild of Jemma Reynolds — a self confessed foodie, critique and ’super-mum’ to 2 pre-schoolers. Let’s face it — dining out with kids in tow can be fraught… fraught with fear, trepidation, anxiety and a host of other raging emotions. I have certainly had my fair share of cringe-worthy cafe moments. But it needn’t be so! Jemma profiles restaurants and cafes in and around Melbourne and rates them in relation to their ‘kid-friendliness’. Pram access? High chairs? Distraction apparatus like books or paper and crayons? Welcoming smiles? With her expert eye (and with the help of her 2 adorable pint-sized side-kicks) Jemma susses out the facilities, children’s menu, table and customer service. Of course she is also obligated to road-test the menu (all in the name of ‘field research’ she assures me.) Afterall we all know that pram access, high chairs, drawing supplies, babyccinos, choc-topped gingerbread men, great food and the perfect latte are important… in equal measure.
- Sara
Solids?
With the third baby, you sort of consider yourself an experienced mum. You think you get it, know how it’s done best, and it truly makes parenting a lot easier because you’re a lot less bothered. (Most third babies I know are very easygoing — must have something to do with the parents being more relaxed!)
However, when it’s regarding eating solids, Ava is in no way like her siblings, and I honestly am at a loss here. The thing is this: where Sara and Pim at six months would eagerly open their mouths for their first bite of solids (baby rice), baby Ava was not very keen to try at all, and the little bite that I managed to get into her mouth was not met with a lot of enthusiasm (if you want to see photos of me feeding Ava her first bites you can have a look here, the look on her face is classic). From that moment onwards, Ava has kept her mouth shut and turns her face away as soon as she sees a spoon coming her way. And don’t think I haven’t tried it all: home-cooked, not home-cooked, mix with breast-milk, have other people try, same taste for a few days, different tastes, etc. etc. She’s now 8 months old and not much has changed! The only thing that sort of works is to give her a plate, set her down for dinner with us and give her chunks of food (like broccoli, carrot, fish, or bread). She will suck on these (and analyse them, play with them, and throw them on the ground together with the plate). I wonder if this means we’re skipping the pureed food stage all together? It surely means we have a very stubborn little lady on our hands here!
xxx Esther
PS – the cute over-sized bib is from Coq-en-Pâte and made of 100% organic cotton and non-toxic ink.
Three children is perfect (for us)
I’ve been going through kind of a weird period. Nothing dramatic, just weird. It’s this: We (my husband and I), have decided that we’re very lucky to have three beautiful, wonderful, and healthy children (and each other), and that we probably (ok, certainly) won’t have any more.
So. Now that Ava is 8 months, and she’s sitting up steadily, it is time for me to part with all of the newborn baby stuff. The teeny tiny outfits: keep some for the grandchildren, give the rest away. The crib sheets embroidered by my grandmother: in storage. The baby mobiles: donate to friends. How odd! It means that I will never be pregnant again, that I will never again feel a warm and slippery newborn baby on my belly (and smell that delicious smell!), and experience that little mouth searching for my nipple for the very first time, or share that very special moment with my husband, where we look at our newborn baby in awe, counting all of the fingers, laughing tenderly about those big feet. I will have to part with this ‘newborn baby’ phase for the rest of my life.
I am a lucky woman and I feel blessed with my three beautiful, wonderful, and healthy children. But it feels a little bit sad. Fingers crossed I will have many grandchildren and may live the day to experience them!
xxx Esther
PS picture of Ava (sharing a bath with me)
A year later and not much has changed…
Exactly one year ago this time my daughter was quarantined in the hospital for two weeks with Salmonella poisoning that spread to her bloodstream. Happy New Year!!! Ever since that time I have been on high alert when it comes to food safety issues and the New Year (in the US at least) has already kicked off with several food recalls of my favorite foods including organic beef (E.Coli), Cilantro and Alfalfa Sprouts ( Salmonella) and even Pastries and Cookies sold at Whole Foods which apparently come with a lovely side of staph infection! I don’t intend to cause panic or dismay here but I do like to be informed, especially when it comes to feeding my kids, and as I was doing research I stumbled upon this wonderful website called The Daily Green which I plan to bookmark and check regularly. It has also inspired me to really kick some of the bad habits that I have turned a blind eye to (ie: sipping out of plastic water bottle as I type — I know, I know). Make sure to check out this article on the Dirty Dozen as well as this great New Years Resolutions list which I am all over starting today!
-Dina
The Power of Rock
I have found new inspiration for education. The other night I was in my kitchen with the radio unfortunately being drowned out by two tired girls whining (the sentence most uttered started with “I want…”). Just in the moment I was about to walk out of the kitchen to give myself a timeout (I do this quite regularly — I think I give myself more time-outs than my kids) came out of the radio the sagest words I have heard in a long time aimed straight at my girls: “You can’t always get what you want, but you can try, and you may find, you get what you need”. Genius! I could not have said it better myself. Who knew that Mick Jagger could be better parental inspiration than Gina Ford?
Then I started investigating — the world of pop and rock is full of pearls of wisdom completely applicable to small children: “You say it best when you say nothing at all” (Ronan Keating), “It’s not right, but it’s okay, you’re going to make it anyway” (Whitney Houston). I am not saying my theory is foolproof — “Baby hit me one more time” has no educational value whatsoever…
- Emilie
ONE YEAR AGO WE WROTE ABOUT:
• Win a beautiful bracelet by Arabelle!• Kindergallery – beautiful art for the young
What’s in a name?
Unless they’re called William III, or Jesse James Junior, you might have gone through nine months of nervous brainstorming — what should I call my new baby? I found it to be a very difficult task, and my husband and I have spent more than a few hours debating about it! I guess I like short, catchy names, because all our kids’ names have no more than 4 letters. I also like names that work in multiple languages. And they should work well with our family name (van de Paal).
Our first baby is called SARA van de Paal. I’ve always thought Sara is a beautiful name, very old-fashioned, but at the same time very simple and modern. I like how there are so many As in the first and last name. (more…)
Two Kids and a Little Baby
People ask me how I’m getting on with three kids. Well, I get on. And it’s great! Ava is the sweetest baby in the world. Of course. She’s delightful and wonderful. She’s that easy third child I’ve heard rumours about. She’s the icing on the cake, the cherry on the pie…
After the first weeks after the birth, we’re now back in our usual structure. Getting up, having breakfast, kids to school… The baby adjusts to the schedule, and sometimes the schedule adjusts to her. Life is not so different, it’s just a whole lot better! We all enjoy her so much (even in the middle of the night) and the kids absolutely adore her.
Of course it takes longer to get out of the house, and of course the other kids need more attention, and of course she wakes up three times at night, and of course the milk in the fridge is finished. But the thing is, I’m just not so bothered by it anymore.
We live, we love, and we have each other. It feels good to have three kids!
xxx Esther
Baby Massage
When my first daughter was a tiny, little newborn, there was only one thing that got me out of bed for 9:00 in the morning, sleep-deprived and all. It was the baby massage classes in my local town hall in London. I started them when my little girl was about 2 weeks old and it was a great experience both for her and me. She really relaxed during the sessions and, after I got the hang of it and started massaging her on a daily basis at home, she started associating it bed time. It became a nightly ritual for us, and I do think it played a role in her becoming a good sleeper.
For me the baby massage classes were a life-line to meeting other mums in my neighbourhood. We were all in the same boot — we had been working on our careers and suddenly were discovering a completely new way of life, and it was great to hang out with other woman who were going through a similar experience.
Baby Massage ateliers are popping up all around Paris now. I know of some at Mum and Babe and at the Bonton flag shop, though I have not personally tested them. I am pretty sure you can find them in most cities now –I cannot recommend baby massage highly enough.
- Emilie
Is it a girl thing?
You’ll have to excuse me for making such assumptions… but after having two boys, I’m new to the world of girls. Are all girls into shoes? Do all girls have an opinion on what they want to wear? And is this something I’m going to have to live with for the next 18 years?! My boys have never asked to wear something in particular — they’ve always just been happy to get their clothes put on them… and then they’re out the door and back to playing without giving it a second thought. My daughter, on the other hand, is not even one yet and she already has an opinion!
As I mentioned last week, I bought my daughter a pair of Pom D’api sandals — her first ‘real’ pair of shoes. And she is completely obsessed with them. Like temper-tantrum-when-you-take-them-off sort of obsessed. And I intentionally didn’t make any sort of fuss about the shoes at all… because for one, I don’t want to make her aware of ‘new’ clothes, and for two, I don’t want her to care about these sorts of things. But she does, apparently. (more…)
Everybody dies
My nearly-5-year-old daughter is going through some really deep thinking about life and death. I think she’s suddenly realising what ‘dead’ means, and can get really upset about it. The other day she was crying inconsolably about the fact that people die, and she asked if I would die. I said I would, but hopefully when I’m very, very old.
The thing is, my mum died of breast cancer almost 2 years ago (I wrote about it here, here and here), so my daughter knows very well that people can also die when they get very, very sick. So, to complicate the matter, she said that I could die of illness as well, something I could hardly deny.
And who would then take care of her? I told her her daddy would, but she asked what would happen if he would die as well. I told her her grandparents would take care of her. But what if they would die? Etcetera. Meanwhile she was crying her heart out.
How difficult it can be, to grow up, to start understanding some of the mean parts of life, and how hard it sometimes is to be a mum and to not really know the right answers… (more…)
A romantic night… IN
A while ago Esther and I were asked by the new website Domestic Ease to write a post about how to have a romantic night at home, so as not to spend a fortune on restaurants and babysitters. We had a great time writing the post — some of the tips we have actually tried and tested ourselves while the others we will definitely try out in the future…
Here are our ideas for a fabulous date night that won’t break the bank:
1. Prepare a cheese fondue following this recipe, add some French bread and serve a good, dry white wine. Imagine you’re in the Swiss mountains.
2. Buy a (tango) dance instruction DVD and get moving!
3. Borrow (or rent) a display projector and play something hopelessly romantic on a big screen (a piece of white wall or a white bed sheet) in the living room. Cook up some popcorn and make yourselves comfy on a big blanket with pillows. (more…)
Long-haul flights and jet-lag
I am by no means a medical expert, but I have done a ton of traveling with my kids, have survived more long-haul flights than I can count and have dealt with jet-lag more times than I would like. On the whole it is never easy, especially the flights. But I do find that it’s more daunting in theory than in practice (I usually start to dread the flight, especially if I’m flying on my own with the kids, about 3 months before the day… plotting out all the possible worse-case scenarios in my head). In general, the nightmare scenarios never happen and the flights go more smoothly than I imagined. I think my biggest tip is to be super organized — have everything you might need during the flight in an easily accessible carry-on. Bring healthy snacks (like raisins, pretzels, fruit) to keep your kids happy and distracted at the crucial times like take-off and landing when you have to be seated. Have your kids’ favourite books on-hand. And make sure your kids use the toilet BEFORE you board the plain. The more organized you are, the easier the whole experience will be. Oh, and I really think it makes a world of difference to buy your kids their own headphones — ones that actually fit them and stay on. (more…)
Work-Family-Balance
I was talking to Esther the other day about how to balance family life with a working life, and it brought up some interesting thoughts…
I am an animation producer and Esther is an architect, both are professions which we are passionate about and both are a lot of fun. On the flip side, they are jobs that are very difficult to switch off from when the working day is finished. We have both been finding it “challenging” to keep all balls in the air, but we agreed on one thing: having kids and a job teaches you an important lesson — how to switch from work to family.
I used to drink, eat and sleep my job and was never fully able to enjoy my evenings. Now with kids this is actually physically impossible –when I get home I need to give them my full attention if I like it or not. Funnily enough it gives me a rest from obsessing about work issues, which actually means that I am possibly better at what I do now because I get some distance from it and take a real break in the evening.
Now I might be pushing this theory a bit too far but I think having kids might actually make you better at your job. Who would have thought!?
- Emilie
First-aid elephant from Goodies of Desire
Before we moved to a new house a few weeks ago, we used to live in an apartment building. Parking in the basement, large elevator, and the rooms conveniently laid-out on one single level. Disadvantage: no garden. Advantage: no stairs.
Last week I came home from work and found my 4-year-old daughter sitting on the sofa with a package of frozen red cabbage wrapped in a tea towel, pressed to her forehead. A bump the size of an egg was slowly developing. You guessed it, she fell from the stairs (or, as she stated, her little brother pushed her, but I’m not sure how much of a truth there is in that). Poor girl.
Now I’m not against red cabbage, (we prepare it with a little sugar and apples — truly delicious with good sausage or game), but don’t you think this cute little elephant from Goodies of Desire would do a much better job at soothing a little (or bigger) owie? I do, and thus, from now on, I keep one in the freezer compartment of my fridge for cases of emergencies. Good to have around.
The friendly elephant is filled with cherry pits and the label says that in addition to the usual bumps and bruises it can also be useful for ‘Kopfenschmerzen & Kater’ (headache & hang-over) or ‘Milchstau’ (engorgement). VERY good to have around. (more…)
New Years Resolution 1 of 999,999
This year I am getting organized! And this year, unlike the last few years, I am really serious. I totally triple swear.
While I have never been a “Type A” person and have always led a life of total chaos behind the scenes, I have finally hit a breaking point. My girls are turning four next month and I have yet to put together a single photo album or memory book. I have everything from sonogram pictures to photos of their 3rd birthday party in the same box stashed in my closet. I have amassed piles of all of the cute clothing that they outgrew because I simply can’t let go of the memories. And that is just their stuff — let’s not even begin to talk about mine.
The other day I stumbled upon the book One Year to an Organized Life which seemed heaven sent. I have tried to organize in vain before but it seems that the piles always get bigger and the work is never done. The more I try — the worse it becomes. I always wind up feeling defeated and run out of steam. I did have someone help me with my closet last year but that was just a starting point. In a perfect world I would just love to always put my keys in the same place, have a streamlined file cabinet, and stop constantly looking for my cell phone in my bag… but most importantly, I want to have the memories of my girls growing put in order. (more…)
