Finding out the sex of your baby (or not)
I have an old photo of my dad, using a pinard horn to listen to my heartbeat on my mother’s very pregnant belly, the morning of the day I was born, 38 years ago. There was no ultrasound and no fancy doppler technique. There was no way they could have seen their baby before it was born, there was no way of finding out if I had all of my 10 toes and fingers, if I was a boy or a girl. What a different feeling it must have been — the excitement, the insecurity…
I’ve personally always found out the sex of my babies, taking full advantage of modern technology. I really like to know what we’re having, I love that moment of finding out, the slight confusion immediately after (a boy?! a girl?! really?!) and then, the excitement, the anticipation. Talking about the future with my husband, imagining what our family will look like. Thinking about names for that little baby, searching through the baby clothes, decorating the baby’s room… For me, finding out the sex of the baby makes me feel connected to my baby, makes me look forward to meeting that little girl or boy.
But — I can also fully understand that it must be SO wonderful to give birth, and meet your little baby for the first time, and only then find out if it is a boy or a girl! That moment must be priceless, and so, so special and emotional.
What did (or would) you do? Did you find out the sex of your baby before giving birth, or did you wait? I’d love to know your thoughts and opinions!
xxx Esther
PS Photo of me, three days old, with my mum and dad.
PPS I’m having another….Boy! So we’ll have two girls and two boys! I’m SO excited!
ONE YEAR AGO WE WROTE ABOUT:
• Teeny Tini by JK Lange• Babyccino Kids on Daily Candy!
• My house on Design*Sponge!
LEAVE A COMMENT
21 COMMENTS - Add your own
Congrats on another boy. We didn’t find out either time and my husband told me that we had a boy then another boy! Getting to tell me that news really helped my husband feel involved in the births of our sons. I loved the suprise and it helped me push harder. Although, our eldest was a bit of a flasher in the womb so we were 80% sure he was a boy before he arrived (we didn’t ask for confirmation). I was tempted to find out and can understand why you would want to but in the end I am glad we went old skool
Thank you! It’s funny, because I’ve also always been right about what I though I was having — don’t know if it’s mother’s instinct or just plain luck!
I like your topic of the day. My husband and I love to wait till the birth to know if it’s a boy or a girl! We choose to act like this for our first child (it’s a boy), and for the second one (I’m pregnant) we decided also to wait. It was such a great moment to discover the sex, I will always remember when I get my baby and I look at the sex to know if it’s a boy or a girl. It’s probably less confortable to organize things before but it’s nothing to compare the joy of the surprise.
(Nie-Nie from France)
Like you we always find out the sex – i just can’t cope with the surprise, i like to have everything organised before the birth and to have chosen the perfect name. Congratulations on your second baby boy – you will have such a lovely gender balance in your family. Wish you a safe and happy pregnancy.
I found out every time. Admittedly I wasn’t going to second and third times but I can read an ultrasound well enough that I didn’t miss the crucial details.
Congratulations Esther x
Thank you guys!!
I’ve done it both ways, and I can see the pros to both. It is really nice to feel like you can visualise and connect with your baby, and to be able to talk to your older kids about your baby and plan for his/her arrival.
But I will be old fashioned and say that I prefer the good ‘ol surprise element. It is just so fun to NOT know! And because of all these advanced scans nowadays, we already know so much about these babies. It’s nice to leave something unknown. We get so few real surprises in our adult lives, and this is really such an amazing surprise to have. (Plus, everyone gets so excited about the birth, and it’s fun to make the big announcement at the time he/she is born!)
We are not finding out what we’ve having with this baby, and I’m so happy not to know. (Although my kids are begging me to find out! They’re dying to know!)
xxx
I want to know too!! I can’t wait to see what you’re having. Either way — I’m sure I’m going to love that little baby of yours sooo much!! And she/he will be best friends with our little boy! xxx
Oh I couldn’t wait to know what I was having both times… only because I wanted to knit and sew things for them and i’m a slow knitter! However, I think that if I ever have a third, i would keep it a surprise, since I have both a girl and a boy now…
2 & 2 how perfect
Yes — that’s certainly also one of the advantages — starting to make little outfits and such… So cute!!
My partner and I chose not to find out the sex of our baby. I really wanted it to be a surprise. I think my more in law thought we knew and were keeping it from her, so we had to try and convince that we honestly didn’t know. I was sure I was expecting a girl and was right. We chose names for a boy and for girl but I just knew inside that I would be mewing a girl! Next time (i we are fortunate enough to fall pregannat again) I think we might find out to help prepare our daughter…… Or perhaps she’ll just enjoy the surprise element to. I can appreciate that people like to find out the sex to plan and get organised, but the build up to meeting that little person and finding out who they are is just so amazing! Xx Stella x
I am desperate to know what this one will be but I won’t find out. I have done endless gender guessing searches on google. We have not found out with any of our previous three and I have loved that element of surprise but I do understand why people do. My husband is dead against it though so although at the moment I would actually love to know I know that we won’t find out.
Ha, love that photos, you were a very cute baby! I am with you. I like to find out, but that is also because I am not good with surprises (I often read the end of a book before getting to the end)! But I totally understand why people don’t want to find out, it is so nice to have a baby, it really does not matter if it is a boy or a girl.
Congratulations..the perfect four!! I agree both ways! We did not find out the first time (we had a girl) but did ask the second time (another girl)..! But we did not tell our friends or family, we pretended that we did not ask the gender for the fact that we would not be bombarded with trick and awkward questions from friends trying to guess for 9 months!!! We wanted to keep it to ourselvs!!! But friends of mine have known the sex and kept everybody guessing..they did say it was a burden and they would do as we did next time!!! Pros and cons girls,pros and cons!!! Xx
Esther, congratulations!!!! it is so exciting. two boys and two girls. I, like you, found out the sex of my son. Both things are nice but then, you start thinking of names, … and so on…
congratulations again!!!!
Congratulations, Esther!
I’ve done both ways too. Last time I actually forgot to ask at the scan because I wasn’t really concentrating (over full bladder, trying to prevent toddler son destroying the room, etc!) so it was a forced surprise – though my mum was convinced I knew and was just holding out on her!
For my first two babies I found out the sex before birth and the 3rd and 4th time I had a surprise. Every time it was the right decision and I felt just right about it. So it is such a personal thing and I can understand and respect either way. When I had surprises I had a very strong feeling what sex the baby would have, and I was right, so funny.
Wishing you all the best, greetings from Amstelveen! Nina xx
We wanted to find out with our first but she was all curled up during the ultrasound they couldn’t even get any of the measurements that they needed. I had to have a repeat scan a few weeks later and they just managed to get the measurements she still had her legs crossed and tucked under her bottom do they weren’t able to tell us (though the technician did say to us that because of her position she was most likely a girl but couldn’t confirm). When it came time to deliver I loved not knowing. No only that but being able to announce “it’s a girl!”.
I’m currently 16 wks pregnant with #2 and I’m unsure whether I will (attempt to) find out this time.
I found out with all of mine (x7). But then again if given the chance I would peek at my Christmas presents early too.
i found out for my first – a girl – then spent months deciding on the perfect name, acquiring a wardrobe and mentally connecting with a daughter … then out pops a BOY. WTF? I mean i had secretly wanted a boy so all was fine, but it was really tough at first because I had bonded with this little girl and we had been calling her by her name and aghhhhh it was really complex.
(Your eldest daughter looks a lot like your mum!)
First, congrats on your newcomer, 4 kids, all I can say is WOW!
I am just like you, i need to know, just call it impatience…and being able to,connect with baby in the belly…but I just wanted a healthy baby all in all, so it didn’t matter if I was told the wrong sex after all…
Have a great pregnancy:)