A few hours ago, I caught my 4-year-old son Pim with his Micro Scooter in the living room. Now, Micro Scooters are intended for use outdoors, at least that’s the rule in our house. So I told him to put the scooter back in the hallway and I made my way to the kitchen. A few minutes later, I heard baby Ava (who had just had two nasty shots (jabs) and was feeling miserable) screaming and crying, I looked up, and saw Pim with his scooter in his hand, he clearly had run into the baby. I was so angry, I dragged him to the corner and yelled at him.
Fact: he disobeyed the rule in the first place, didn’t listen to me in the second place, and unjustly hurt Ava in the third place. I had the right to become angry. I try not to raise my voice too much, but sometimes I lose my patience and yell. I don’t like it but it occasionally happens — usually when they’ve been nagging me for a while, trying to find out how far they can go with me.
I do believe (I hope) that I’m human, and that my kids need to learn that there are borders, and that it’s ok for them to experience that their mother (exceptionally of course) may lose her patience if they go too far. It’s not nice, however (for both of us).
I sent Pim to his room so I could cool down and after 10 minutes we spoke about what happened, why I had become so angry, made sure he understood what he did wrong — and we apologised to each other and hugged bigtime. Peace is back in the house. And I’m promising myself to work on being more even-tempered!
I am always amazed by mothers who seem to never lose their patience, never seem to explode, reason with their children as if they are grown-ups. So tell me, do you think I am a terrible mother for losing my patience, or is it normal? Do you ever lose your patience or do you have a trick up your sleeve I should know about?? Yoga, meditation, medication? I’m very interested to hear.
(photo from here)