The jealous bunch (or older siblings)
When you’re going to be giving birth to baby number 2 (3,4,5,6,7…) instead of baby number 1, there are a couple of big differences.
First of all, you will be a bit more relaxed about the whole prospect of having a baby – when I was pregnant the first time I religiously read (well, to be honest I studied) ‘What to expect when you’re expecting’ every evening before bedtime. The second time around, I hardly even looked at that book. Been there, seen that.
But second of all, this time around there is another human being in your life to deal with (or 2,3,4,5,6…). I remember feeling so attached to my first child in that second pregnancy. I felt like cuddling her the entire day long! I guess it has to do with hormones and guilt. I was betraying that little person by giving birth to another, equally important child! (Although, at that time, I honestly couldn’t imagine ever having the same feelings for the second child)!
Well, this is how it went: the moment my son was born, I had 2 children, and loved them equally. It’s as simple as that.
Here are some tips that, we’ve experienced, might help with dealing with the older children. Of course, regardless of what you do, there will always be periods of awful jealousy. And beware – there will be moments (more than one) where you will want to strangle your older kid(s). Or sell them on ebay. (more…)
TENS machine
The TENS machine is another thing I had never heard of before I moved to London. (Maybe because I was more concerned with the pain of a hangover than I was with the pain-relief of labour)??? I’m not sure if TENS machines are common in the rest of the world, but they are quite common here in the UK!
TENS stands for Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulator. TENS machines deliver small electrical pulses to the body via electrodes placed on the skin. It is used as a drug-free form of pain relief during labour. You’re supposed to strap it on and begin using it when contractions begin. As contractions become stronger, you can increase the strength of the electrical pulses. I kept mine on throughout labour. It’s hard to say if it really worked for me, but I liked the feeling of control — like I was able to do something to ease the pain! (more…)
c-sections, not bad after all
At the beginning of my first pregnancy I felt so overwhelmed by the novelty and changes to come that I needed to feel medical presence and guidance around me; I was so not into the natural birth movement. At around 10 weeks pregnant (with no bump in sight) I went to take a tour of the maternity ward at University College London Hospital, and I did not even want to look at the natural birthing center! At that stage, all I wanted to see were traditional birth beds, stirrups, cables and monitors. (more…)
Tummy-tuck in a tube
A while ago I announced to the world that after the birth of my second child I was not going to resort to plastic surgery to get back in shape more quickly. I was going to do it the natural way!
Two months after delivery, however, my tummy was not in the best state. The extra kilos, the overstretched skin, and the lack of exercise all contributed to a stomach that still looked quite pregnant.
I decided to indulge in a tube of Mamma Mio Tummy Toner. All the reviews were enthusiastic, so I was determined to try it too! (more…)
Giving birth the not so French way
For our “having babies” theme week, we decided to each write a post about what it is like to give birth in our own countries.
I have never had a baby in France (my daughter was born in London), but I am shortly about to. However, I have actually decided to bow out of the normal French system and give birth in what is considered a very unusual way in this country.
(more…)
Very essential oils
Get some lavender and tea tree essential oil.
After delivery, pour warm water into a wash basin and add a couple of drops of both the oils. Gently wash yourself down there (in the war zone). Calming and anti-sceptic. Heavenly.
xxx Esther
It is not always a smooth ride
I was very fortunate to have had a pretty easy recovery from my first delivery (fingers crossed for the second one), as were the other Babyccino girls. But while we are doing a “having babies” themed week I thought it might be good to mention that a lot of mothers, through no fault of their own, find themselves in a dark hole not ready to celebrate the huge change in their life, otherwise known as a baby. I read this article in the Guardian the other day that I thought was really poignant. It might not be the easiest read, especially if you are about to have a baby, but if you are interested I thought it was a really well-written and thought-provoking article (and it has a happy end…)!
-Emilie
Say no to drugs?
I have had two uncomplicated pregnancies and delivered two healthy baby boys. The first was born after 40 odd hours of labour and one epidural, and the second was born after nearly 100 hours of labour and NO epidural (no gas & air, no drugs, nothing)!
Two births, and two completely different experiences; the labour was different (obviously) but so was the recovery. I can tell you from experience, that there are pros and cons to both. But what I can’t tell you, is which way I prefer. (more…)
How much is a push worth?
“Pushing” is a concept known to all of us! A “push present” is a phenomenon I only recently came across. I didn’t know it was so well-known (apparently more so in America than here in Europe), but ‘push present’ is now a term you can find on Wikipedia.
And as we all know, if it’s on Wikipedia, it must be true… See also the following article in the New York Times.
This has got me thinking…. how exactly does one calculate the value of the pushes? The higher the number of pushes, the higher the value of the present? Take the case of Esther and Courtney: Esther was in labour for 9 hours — does she only get a silver chain? While Courtney with her 149 hours of contractions gets a big fat diamond necklace with a bracelet and some earrings thrown in??? Is this a case of more pain more gain?
I think it is a bit hard to give birth a material value. It is quite likely that I will get a bunch of flowers for all my pushing efforts. But as long as my husband stays up all night with a screaming baby and still gets up in the morning to make me a cup of coffee, then that is a good compromise for me…
-Emilie
Having babies: the UK way
When I first moved to London nearly 5 years ago, I had no idea what a midwife was. I had heard the term before, but had some old-fashioned vision of hippies and candles. The thought of having a baby without ever seeing a doctor was completely foreign (and freaky) to me. I thought that surely a midwife could not be as knowledgeable as a doctor.
Here in the UK, if you are sick, you see a doctor, if you’re pregnant, you see a midwife. Midwives have been delivering babies for ages and ages, and doctors are only involved if there is a complication or a medical reason for them. Because of this, it happens that midwives in the UK tend to be more experienced than doctors in the field of childbirth.
I was assured of all of this when I got pregnant for the first time, but being an American I was still not entirely convinced. However, five years (and two babies) later, I am a huge advocate of midwife-led pregnancies/deliveries! (more…)
Rock-a-bye baby…
I’ve known about this chair, the Eames RAR, since LONG before I even considered children. In fact, when my boyfriend and I bought this chair in NY, we weren’t even married yet!
Charles and Ray Eames (1907-1978 and 1912-1988) were married when they designed the ‘mix and match’ chairs for furniture manufacturer Henry Miller in 1948.
The famous designer/architect/filmmaker couple adapted moulding techniques, which were invented during the 2nd World War, to create seat shells from fiberglass that were mass producible (and thus affordable). Chrysler (the car maker) developed a system to attach the fiberglass shell to different bases, including Eiffel Tower-shaped legs and rockers. These rocking chairs (‘RAR’ chairs) were given to all Herman Miller employees when they had children, because – here it comes – they proved to be absolutely fantastic for (breast)feeding babies! (more…)
A little baby: public property?
Your newborn baby is not only yours and your husband’s child: she is public property. Most strangers, particularly middle aged woman, firmly believe that they have the right to give you their personal opinion on how you should dress up, dress down, feed and treat you child. They mostly think that you are doing a terrible job and that their way is the only way possible. Does this sound familiar? (more…)
The magic of Witch Hazel
Witch Hazel is a medicinal astringent produced from the leaves and bark of the North American Witch Hazel shrub, Hamamelis virginiana.
This ‘magical’ astringent is mainly used externally on sores, bruises, swelling and bleeding. It is a strong anti-oxidant used in skincare to treat everything from acne to eczema, insect bites or poison ivy, and also as a treatment for varicose veins and hemorrhoids. (Witch hazel is the main ingredient in Tucks Wipes– an American novelty meant to relieve the itch and burn of hemorrhoids).
Frankly speaking, after having a baby, I’m quite certain you can’t go wrong with Witch Hazel… Soreness? Yes. Burning? Yes. Swelling? Yes. Hemorrhoids? Yes. Bleeding? Ummm…. Yes! Ohhh the joys of motherhood! (more…)
Homeopathic help for speedy recovery
I had both my children “airlifted” but I still managed to use some of my natural birth education both times: I took a homoeopathic remedy religiously after both surgeries.
Yehudi Gordon’s advice for post-operation is to take four remedies (each in 200c potency) 4 times a day for 3 days, then 3 times a day for 4 days. Arnica is the main remedy for trauma. Hypericum is good for nerve trauma after an epidural. Bellis Perennis is to assist healing of deep tissues. Calendula to speed up the healing of the scar. The first time I had one bottle with the four combined remedies prepared by the Royal London Homoeopathic Hospital. The second time, I mixed them up myself — I bought the liquid and the four remedies in granules.
Does it really work? Who knows… but I can tell you I always had quick recoveries. Plus there’s no harm in trying!
-Michela
The Dutch way: homebirth and at-home maternity care!
Both my children were born in London. And since we didn’t have a very chic insurance at the time, nor a very chic income, they were both brought into this world in the University College Hospital, an old Victorian NHS hospital (which means National Health Care — this is far from a chic private hospital)! I must say I didn’t really mind, because my pregnancies were very uncomplicated and so were the births. Thankfully I didn’t have to stay in the hospital for very long!
Now that I’m living in the Netherlands, chances are high that the next baby will be born at home. Currently, one in three babies are born at home here! To compare: in the UK, only about 2% of the babies are born at home, in the US, it is about 0.5%. I couldn’t find any percentages for France or Italy; I’m not sure it’s even legal there! (more…)
Blossom’s feeding camisole
The number one staple in my closet that I wore from the moment my son was born until about 8 months after, was Blossom’s feeding camisole. No need to pull the whole tank up (or push down), these camisoles have drop-down cups for easy nursing. The fabric is cute (I had two different floral prints, but they also make them now in simple black and white), the cotton jersey fabric is soft, and I especially liked the cute lacy details on the straps. Another bonus about them is that they are loose in the tummy (so your not-so-toned mid-section isn’t completely on show)! (more…)
Swaddling
Swaddling was a one of those things I had heard about but somehow thought it had gone out of fashion somewhere around the Middle Ages.
But when our daughter arrived, screaming her head off for what seemed like an eternity, we were willing to try anything to soothe her. A friend of ours gave us the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD by Harvey Karp. (Courtney wrote a review about his follow-up book, the Happiest Toddler on the Block).
The basic idea behind Harvey Karp’s theory is that a newborn is disoriented for the first 12 weeks after she comes out of the womb; he calls this the 4th trimester. What he tries to do is recapture some of the feelings a baby would get inside the womb, i.e. being tightly wrapped in a swaddling blanket, gentle rocking, listening to white noise etc. (more…)
Beschuit met muisjes
In the Nethelands, we have a very old and special tradition celebrating the birth of a baby: all guests that come by to admire the new baby will get ‘beschuit met muisjes’ –Dutch rusks, or crisp bakes, with little mice!
No need for hysteria though – the little mice are nothing more than anise seeds coated in sugar – either white and blue for a boy, or white and pink for a girl (duh).
The stem of the anise seed sticks out a little from the sugar coating and thus resembles the tail of a mouse.
Anise was thought to be good for the mother’s milk. I happen to just like the tradition and the taste… but for the sake of mother’s milk, I prefer to believe in the benefits of white beer 
!
xxx Esther
The Italian way
I’ve had two babies. One born in London, and my second born in Milan. I found the whole experience of childbirth to be much different here in Italy compared to northern Europe (and probably the U.S).
For starters, women in Italy get to stay in hospital much longer after the birth. Even with a straight-forward, uncomplicated delivery, the minimum hospital stay is 3 days. During those three days mummy is checked daily by doctors, midwives and nurses. Baby sees a paediatrician everyday. And then once you leave the hospital everybody forgets about you; post-natal care at home is non existent here! (more…)
Lavender bath salts
Let’s face it, if you give birth naturally even to the smallest of babies, something down there has got to give and your body is going to have to heal. After the birth of my daughter, Courtney gave me a tub of Neal’s Yard Lavender Bath Salts and they worked wonders. I think the mixture of the salt and the healing power of the lavender was exactly what my body needed. The salts also smell divine and made the whole flat smell like a spa.
I haven’t been able to find Neal’s Yard products here in Paris but a couple of days ago I picked up a tub of Occitane Lavender Bath Salts. Hopefully they will have the same desired effect.
-Emilie
